06.29.11

Now you seem 'em.

Now you don't.

06.28.11

The Stig... REVEALED!

06.27.11

Today I need a helper monkey... preferably in a little tuxedo, with a rose on the lapel.

06.23.11

Rápido! Rápido!

06.22.11

Basket of Quackers.

Heh. Heh.

06.20.11

Blinded by the Light!

Ever wondered what moths did before there were light bulbs.
Trick Question Guys! There weren't any moths before light bulbs.

06.17.11

If you've never been stranded with your child on an aluminum boat with a dead battery, in a rain storm with a 12 gauge, 2 oars, a half a box of wine and 14 Triscuits...

You obviously haven't been to the Silverfox's school of quality parenting.

Happy Fathers Day Weekend.

06.16.11

Preposterous!?!?!
She just found out that if she eats raw chicken, her poop won't stink.

06.15.11

These smell.
Like rain.
On a sandy beach...
Littered with beached whales...
and feral cats.

06.14.11

Whack.
You got weeeeeeeeeeed?

POP QUIZ!

The following is:
A. Where hot dogs come from.
B. Where curly fries come from.
C. Where a hot dog and curly fries are digested.

06.10.11

I know a guy...
Who makes Gorillas...
Out of paper.

Thought you should know.

06.09.11

I bee a photobomb.

06.08.11

RH: Does this Tweet make me look hot?
FOP: Um, yes... In that "Scandalous Congressman" sort of way.

06.07.11

Uh, Lawn Fertilizer...

Ba-dum Ching!
Anyone?
Is this thing on?

06.06.11

The Scoop.
Could somebody please clean out the litter box... er the kitty pool... uh, those better be pine cones.

06.03.11

Darkness warshed over the...
In case you ever have wondered what a John Denver/Sam Elliott hybrid looks like.

Happy Weekend!

06.02.11

A Buttered Breakfast Bagel and Bunches of Baby's Breath

That is all

06.01.11

The Huffing-a-Ton Post
Much ado about... huffing.

05.31.11

Best Memorial Day EVER!
May, you really outdid yourself.

05.30.11

Adventure's Last Stop.

Maverik Lady,

I will miss buying my coffee from you.

FOP

05.27.11

OXYMORONIC
Happy Memorial Weekend.

05.26.11

Oddly, not as “super” as one might think.

05.25.11

POOF! Your lawn looks like crap!

05.24.11

I like Dusty... Bottoms!

Ha!

05.23.11

OMG Guys!
We totally missed the rapture! Stupid Google Maps... It's clear over there.

05.20.11

The Rapture... It’s kind of like a natural disaster.

FOP: Hey mom. Whats up?
LDFX: I’m preparing for the end of the world. Its tomorrow you know.
FOP: How do you “prepare” for that?
LDFX: I’m packing the 72 hour kit.
FOP: ...

05.19.11

On The First Try
On the first day, God created the heavens and the earth...
and he was a little disappointed so he named it Wyoming and started over again.

05.18.11

FOP FASHION ALERT:
This summer, shimmy your way into a Tube Top!

05.17.11

FOP on "Equine Herpes"
1. Did you know Equine essential means "Horses"?
2 I just found out horses can get The Herpes.
3. Million dollar idea: Equine Valtrex.
4. Those poor little jockeys.

and also its raining.

05.16.11

Well I sprayed the driveway
With the cold water
With the cold water
With the cold water
Sprayed the driveway
With the cold water
With the cold water
With the cold cold water

05.12.11

I don't eat ham often,
But when I do, I like to wear my very expensive coat... that looks like a trash bag.

05.11.11

There's plenty more where this came from!

05.10.11

Bundy: Hey, could you lend a guy a hand on his birthday?
RH: You once gave me beans and a half-empty a bottle of wine on my birthday.
Bundy: Yeah, so?
RH: I don’t need to lend you anything fine sir!

05.09.11

THE REALLY DO EXIST!
And all these years I thought it was just a crazy John Madden idiom.

05.06.11

It's an Honor
And the Award for “Loudest Fart in the ‘Expired Food  Aisle’ at the Dollar General” goes to...

05.05.11

Culturally Insensitive, Who me?

RH: Hey when is Cinqo de Mayo, I think it’s one of those ‘floating holidays’.

FOP: Uhhh…. July 17th mark your calendar...

RH: And how is it celebrated?

FOP: I think a bearded Mexican goes around tossing burritos down people’s chimneys.

RH: You mean there’s going to be bearded Mexican on my roof!!!!!!!!!

FOP: Only if you leave a margarita and plate of churros.

05.04.11

Totally Tubular!
I can't even imagine what Genetically Modified Bean Dip looks like.
But I'm totally excited about it.

What's up little buddies?

05.02.11

WELCOME MAY!
You so Crazy!

04.29.11

Dionysus, duh.
LdyFX: Franzia on the rocks, please.
FOP: Um, not to be a wine snob,* but...
LdyFX: "Die-o-n ICE-us" is the GOD OF WINE!
FOP: Touché

* Because clearly, boxed wine in a Solo cup is the status quo for the drinking elite.

04.28.11

I may have posted this before...
if so, just consider yourself re-tarted.

Ba-DUM Ching!

04.27.11

Happy Administrative Professionals Day!
That being said, you’d better buy me lunch and wish me a Happy "Salaried 65+ Hours a Week Can you work Saturday... and Sunday Last Time I got a raise was 2007 Employee” Day.

04.26.11

Can v. May (Formerly the PSA that made me clap.)
I’m sure you have the capability to do so...
Oh wait, unless you don’t have lips...

Which I hear is one of the symptoms.

04.25.11

Haters... gonna hate.

04.22.11

Clever? No?
Jeepers, creepers, where'd ya get them...


(Walmart, in case you really wanted to know.)

04.21.11

iStalker
Thhhssss, hey Bob, I hate to tell you this, but Steve Jobs knows where you are right now.

04.20.11

Pardon me... but is today 4.20.11?
Say, man, you got a joint?
No, not on me, man.
It'd be a lot cooler if you did.

04.19.11

TEA-BAG!

04.18.11

POP QUIZ!
A. Realized he actually owed the IRS money.
OR
B. Was told by his wife he couldn't buy a new tablecloth.