Friday, August 29, 2008

08.29.08


BARNYARD WEEK! Day #5


SALLY STRUTHERS & FOP BEG YOU TO SAVE THIS LLAMA
Share Your Love. Become a Llama Sponsor

Hello there,

Right now, all over the world, llamas are hurting. They are suffering from the embarrassment of that whole Neverland Ranch gig and the emotional stress of being Jacko’s Cozy Sleepover Friends. In addition to being "Jacko-horse-monkey-kitten-bunny hybrids", these genetic catastrophes are being robbed of their most basic need… dignity. In many celebrity petting zoos, 4 out of 5 llamas will die from humiliation within the next two years.

All that is needed is someone who will look into the eyes of a needy llama and say, 'Yes, I will help.'

Someone like you.

It doesn't have to be this way. Right now, living, breathing llamas need your love… and money. Please, find it within your heart and wallet to become a Save the Llama sponsor, and for as little as 39 cents a day (or about the cost of a Van Halen Reunion Tour concert ticket), you can help stop the suffering and give a deserving llama a better life today, and a chance for the future. Imagine the excitement when we tell a llama that someone wants to make a difference in its life!

Your tax-deductible contribution can be sent directly to me, FOP.

The life of a llama is all too short. Extend a hand, and extend the hope.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

08.28.08


BARNYARD WEEK: Day #4
The goat’s got WEED! He got WEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

08.27.08


BARNYARD WEEK: Day #3
Hey bro.
_____What up dawg?
You holding?
_____Yeah doode, I got some tin cans, a shoe lace and some bits of cloth.
Right on.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

08.26.08


BARNYARD WEEK: Day #2

FOP (age 5): Dad, where does booze come from?
SLVFX: Inebriated cows.

Monday, August 25, 2008

08.25.08


What time is it when a chicken sits on a fence?
BARNYARD WEEK TIME! That’s what time it is!

Friday, August 22, 2008

08.22.08


OLYMPIC FACT
Badminton: Apparently NOT just for drunk people at family reunions. Who knew?
Thank you Beijing!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

08.21.08


ALOHA!
I will gyrate seductively and you will travel 3,000 miles to buy overpriced chocolate covered macadamia nuts for your family and friends

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

08.20.08


ARRRRGH! Booty Profits Down 36%
Despite looking overseas for much of their swag, area pirates admit rough economic times have hurt the business of swashbuckling.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

08.19.08


Hey everybody!
I have a friend who moved here from the east coast.
Tewksbury, Massachusetts, to be exact.
This is his lawn.
That’s all.

Monday, August 18, 2008

08.18.08


WARNING: This is boring...
And erroneously construed as funny when used as a middle name.


Sorry.

Friday, August 15, 2008

08.15.08


FOP: Hey dad, what’s up?

SLVFX: Thinking of a description for this new batch of wine.

FOP: How’s this, “Ripe, rich and round, with lots of spicy, earth-scented black cherry and berry flavors, hinting deliciously at chocolate on the smooth finish”?

SLVFX:
A bit pretentious don’t you think?

FOP: Hmm, Well there’s always “Rich, boozey flavors commingled with fruity undertones sure to delight your palate.

SLVFX: Not really my style.

FOP: What about “Hey y’all! I done remembered to wash the birdshit off them grapes this time!”

Thursday, August 14, 2008

08.14.08


RIDDLE ME THIS:
It runs your car AND gives you the runs!
What is it?

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

08.13.08


Appetizers!
It’s what’s for dinner!
When your date is ugly!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

08.12.08


SCIENTIFIC FACT:
37% of the liquid in that last gulp of your drink is backwash.
Just thought you should know.

Monday, August 11, 2008

08.11.08


Despite rising transportation costs, the Hobo tourism industry remains relatively unaffected.

Friday, August 08, 2008

08.08.08


Man, this NatureLift 2000™ is wicked cool! What are we going to do when we get to the top?

Probably stand on a rock, drink some booze, pee on a tree and smoke some weed.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

08.07.08


You know the old saying:
“If the boot fits... your buddies probably call you Skeeter, and you have cars on your front lawn.”

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

08.06.08


Ah! Little grasshopper you have much to learn…

…for 4 payments of $35.99, some bat-crazy loon name Kevin Trudeau will provide you a revolutionary book filled with Everything "They" Don't Want You To Know About. Where in you will learn of government’s plot to eradicate the human race and replace them with beings spawn from the loins of Tom Cruise.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

08.05.08


This mortgage crisis is hard on everyone, in fact, I think I just foreclosed on your lawn.

Monday, August 04, 2008

08.04.08


Come on y'all lets take a ride...
Uh, slide slide slippity-slide.

Friday, August 01, 2008

08.01.08


A demonstration, please.
How to establish yourself as a “NASCAR Super Fan”.


Click to enlarge the play by play.