Thursday, August 31, 2006

08.31.06


This is my pedestal.
When you are finished watching me be better than everyone else, could you please be sure to put me back on it.
Thanks,
Management

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

08.30.06


Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk.
Hey look, it’s a lake. So are we done here?
Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

08.29.06


HELP!
I can't tell who is more excited about joining the Le Leche League?
Go here for more baby bellies!

Monday, August 28, 2006

08.28.06


Approximately 34 pieces of flair.

Friday, August 25, 2006

08.25.06


I have very important business to attend to this afternoon, I am leaving this guy in charge of the InterWeb. Please be on your best behavior.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

08.24.06


Wanna sign my crack?

Ba Dum Ching!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

08.23.06


This fleurs-de-lis strap hinge, reminiscent of late 15th century iron-work found on the All Saints Church, in Lockinge, Oxfordshire, was actually templated after Dave Navarro’s facial hair.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

08.22.06


Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Aye luv, don't let the children play with matches... Savvy?

Monday, August 21, 2006

08.21.06



Hurrah!! WE GOT CABLE!!!!
Just thought you should know.

Friday, August 18, 2006

08.18.06


Hey, wow, this couch is super-fun and super-cushiony. Do you like the upholstery? Yea, my mom picked it out special in 1989. Ummm, I would totally make out with you, but that man over there dancing with a blow up doll is totally freaking me out.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

08.17.06



Two Letters
An open letter to men who insist upon shaving their legs:
Dear Gentlemen,
Stop it!
Regards,
FOCP

An open letter to men who wear combat boots and have never been (and never will be) in the military:
Dear Gentlemen,
Stop it!
Regards,
FOCP

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

08.16.06


Well, we do have a few vacancies.
I suppose it’d be okay if you waited out the storm, but I’d have to ask Mother of course… A boy’s best friend is his mother you know.

Ick.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

08.15.06


I think if they looked more like peanut M&Ms and less like little furry butts, I would like them more.

Monday, August 14, 2006

08.14.06


Hello Peter, Jesus here.
Why don’t you listen to me?
How many times have I told you,
NO BLUE DARTS IN HEAVEN.

Friday, August 11, 2006

08.11.06


I love lamp.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

08.10.06


I think this means Lil’ Kim is still pissed at me for putting peanut butter in her favorite pair of pasties.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

08.09.06


DAMNIT Percival! You have to press the middle button to turn on the subwoofer!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

08.08.06


Mahana! You ugly! Come down from that rope!
But dude, seriously, your head is going to start on fire.

Monday, August 07, 2006

08.07.06


In viewing this post you will have wasted 4.25 seconds of your life.
Well done, friends. Well done!

Friday, August 04, 2006

08.04.06


For all my Chebbi Ta’s:
Whad it ta. Kappa-chow done sine your pitty on the runny kine. Cuz sepatown is Sa-da-tay my damies!!!!

For everybody else:
Have a nice weekend.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

08.03.06


‘Member that one time I summered in Tahiti, and took that cooking class taught by a cabana boy… yeah, that was pretty cool.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

08.02.06


No, really, your dedication is truly impressive.
Okay, we’ll see you later. Great talking to you.
Watch for those exposed rocks.

...Sigh

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

08.01.06


It’s an itsy-bitsy, teenie-weenie, yellow, GoldenGirl ZUCCHINI.
ZUCCHINI! ZUCCHINI!