Tuesday, June 30, 2009

06.30.09


I am in a meeting.
I’ve been in a meeting for 7 hours.
They shove sustenance through this hole as to keep me alive so “the Man” can further bore me with his business philosophies...
Send Help...

Monday, June 29, 2009

06.29.09


I killed the 2 varmints who were trying to set up house in the shed WITH ONE SHOT!!!

Nice, but don’t you think using a bazooka was overkill?

Friday, June 26, 2009

06.26.09


Week of the Weird: Day #5

Huh, how about that.
I guess I couldn’t have picked a better close for FOP Week of the Weird.
Today’s photo was slated to be paired with some snarky comment about unsuspecting children and this awesome souvenir I picked up at Neverland Ranch.
BUT THEN YOU DIED MICHAEL JACKSON… WTF!!
And because FOP is klassy, we won’t mention detachable noses, dangling babies on balconies, or that time your hair caught on fire…
Too Soon! Too Soon!

Instead I raise my rhinestone glitter-glove to the sky, and say fair-thee-well to the Moonwalker in the Clouds.

GOOD NIGHT SWEET PRINCE!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

06.25.09


Week of the Weird: Day #4
Put on your blue suede shoes and break out the good China!
THE KING is coming to dinner!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

06.24.09


Week of the Weird: Day #3

FOP: Mom what happened?!
LDYFX: Your father says it was Karma.
FOP: Probably so.
LDYFX: I don’t KNOW anyone named Karma!
FOP:
LDYFX: I am going to tell people it was a ninja.
FOP: So, are you saying you KNOW a ninja?

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

06.23.09


Week of the Weird: Day #2
Yeah so it appears Elton John and Fidel Castro had a love child?!?
Wow, I don't think anyone saw that coming.

Monday, June 22, 2009

06.22.09


I have collection of odd photos, that I am not quite sure what to do with. So on that note, let FOP Week of the Weird (and Gross) commence.

FOP Week of the Weird: Day #1
Tastes like chicken… and asphalt?

Friday, June 19, 2009

06.19.09


Which one (1) of the following quotes is from the Silverfox:
a. Go ahead, make my day.
b. Do you feel lucky punk? Well, do ya?
c. GET OFF MY LAWN!
d. I am going to hog-tie the next person who uses the Space Bar instead of a Tab!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

06.18.09


On Guard!
Fencing, it’s not just for 12th Century douchebags!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

06.17.09


You say tomato…
I say 57 preservatives and 27 seconds in a blender shy of a condiment.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

06.16.09


A typical conversation with the Ladyfox:

LDYFX:
Whaddaya think is worse, a fart or ugly wallpaper?

FOP: Well, only one can be fixed by opening a window.

LDYFX:
Speak for yourself kiddo.

Monday, June 15, 2009

06.15.09


What up Dogg?

Aw man my corn rows is all wet!

Yeah Playa, and they crooked too.

Friday, June 12, 2009

06.12.09


OMG!!! A Murder She Wrote/ Golden Girls WEEKEND MARATHON!!!
Thank heavens. I’m ready to install my digital converter!!
Gloves, CHECK.
Goggles, CHECK.
Helmet…
No helmet?!?!
Nooooooooooo!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

06.11.09


Making Brownies with RH… or something

RH: I CALL!! I get to lick the beaters!!!!!!!!

FOP: Dude. Don’t lick the beaters.

RH: Oh yeah, right, salmonella…

FOP: That, or the Bubonic plague.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

06.10.09


HOW LITTLE WAS IT!

Dear FOP,

We regret to inform you that your zucchini is to little for the interweb. Don't feel bad, it happens to a lot of applicants. Better luck next time.

Sincerely,
Management

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

06.09.09


Things I learned about a crane operator, from a crane operator, while stuck on a closed freeway... for 3 hours:
    1. He has a nasty case of "chronic vertigo".
    2. He has a mistress in Pahrump, NV named Connie.
    3. In 1987, his spit reached terminal velocity.
    4. He can pee in a bottle.
    5. He can go "number 2” in a Ziploc bag.
    6. At the end of the day, he can pack numbers 4 & 5 out… in his lunch box.

Good times.

Monday, June 08, 2009

06.08.09


Field of Hoop Dreams:
“If you build it… some corn plantin’, cattle herdin’, tractor drivin’ Ya-Hoo, who can’t done jump good (in boots), will run over it with a plow or a swather or a ski-doo or something."

Friday, June 05, 2009

06.06.09


Booze Time!
Party Time!
Excellent!
Happy Weekend!

Thursday, June 04, 2009

06.04.09


Perspective? What the hell?
Honestly FOP. If we were meant to see this, God would have made us all about 1.5 inches tall. Come on, get a clue.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

06.03.09


RH: I am soooo slammed! “The Man” is really sticking it to me today, and its only 8:30.
FOP: Uh, its almost 11:00
RH: See I’m delirious! That’s how hard I’m working!!!!
FOP: Your didn’t get there until 10:45.
RH: Don’t you understand? I’VE WORKED MORE IN 15 MINUTES THAN MOST PEOPLE DO in 3 HOURS!
FOP: I guess I missed that.
RH: Hey, I’ll call you back, I’ve got to get to lunch, all this work has made me ravenous.
FOP:

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

06.02.09


There was an old lady who swallowed a spider,
Cuz she was old and nuts! And thought holding a Mixed Martial Arts Contest in her stomach would be sort of AWESOME.

Sooo…

She swallowed the spider to wrastle the fly (that I guess she ate when the cat food ran out). Where it performed 8 of the top 10 submission moves (one with each leg, of course!) on that pathetic fly…

I guess it died.

Monday, June 01, 2009

06.01.09


Stanley AND the Silverfox agree:
Scarecrows are for wussies!