04.28.06

“Mother, put on your shawl and grab the cart, I do believe a little roof-raising is in order.”

04.27.06

Take off, you hoser! Eh!

04.26.06

A beacon of light for wayward tractors.
Return with honor y'all!

04.25.06

For a party animal, like myself, a good time is typically only four parking stalls and 18 wheels away. But seriously, fun follows me like stank on a fart.

04.24.06

Health insurance & helmets are required, and NO inverted aerial maneuvers! Capeshe?
For the wee thrashers who asked if I could post their rides, go here and here.

04.21.06

Toot! Toot! It's the weekend!

04.20.06

POP QUIZ!
The FOP for today is...

A) one way to woo me.
B) totally gay.
C) Both A & B

It's been brought to my attention that this is the fourth flower picture this month alone... NO MORE FLOWERS FOR APRIL!

04.19.06

"Yeah doggs, if it weren’t for the Howard the Duck 2 movie junket, I totally would’ve had the Aflac gig."

04.18.06

I present to you, sixteen dozen ways to catch the bird flu.

04.18.06 Daily Double!

"Hey Peter, man, check out channel 9, it's the breast exams."*

*That's DMo rocking the handlebars like nobody's business.

04.17.06

In case you forgot what spring is SUPPOSED to look like.

04.14.06

I hope your Easter is full of neon window paintings, giant inflatable purple gorillas and low interest rates.

04.13.06

Trans Fat Soup with Spring Onion Garnish
”If you can’t ingest 2lbs of straight unsalted dairy cream butter in one sitting, you don’t deserve to eat. Lightweight.

04.12.06

“Orb of Liquor. Cornflower Formica. The Silverfox.”

04.11.06

"Guys, its going to suck when Kentucky Fried Chicken gets invented."

04.10.06

Proposed (and not necessarily rejected) taglines for aforepictured firm:

1. Suing is like Tara Reid. It’s Just (sniff) That easy.
2. One call, a dime bag and three hookers, that’s all.
3. If it were me, and I wasn’t busy drinking, I’d call me.
4. Give experience a try… um I forgot what comes next.
Hey, is my forehead sunburned?
How did this Cheeto dust get on my briefs?

04.07.06

Sloppy joe.
Slop, sloppy joe.
Sloppy joe.
Slop, sloppy joe.
In Lunch Lady Land, your dreams come true!!
Hogies and grinders.
Hogies and grinders.
Hogies and grinders.
Navy Beans.
Navy Beans.
Navy Beans.

04.06.06

Dear Nature, Keeper of the Skies, Al Roker, Whoever-
The whole juxtaposition of the snow and flowers… that’s some brilliant stuff. No really, I’m not just saying that. It’s the 34 degrees that's really harshin’ my buzz here. Um, it’s April 6th, how ‘bout trying that whole sunshine thing you do so well.
Regards,
FOCP

04.05.06

Purple haze.

04.04.06

That homegirl be WHACK!
She need to ring up M.C. Hammer and let him know she been stealin’ his moves. I hate it when these no-rhythm-club-hos git all up in my grill.

04.03.06

“Pretty Bird! Pretty Bird! SQUWAAK!
Polly want a crac… Hey is that booze?”