Monday, December 31, 2007

12.31.07


The traditional New Years fridge.*
* The bottled water is just for show.

Friday, December 28, 2007

12.28.07


I'm pretty sure this is what my veins currently look like.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

12.27.07



Rejected taglines for PETE (People for the Ethical Treatment of Elves)
Elves...
  • Slightly less creepy than clowns.
  • Get them, before they GET YOU.
  • Inventors of the triangle Q-Tip.
  • Using pointy shoes to kill baby seals since 1408.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

12.26.07



December 26th
In Canada they call it "Boxing Day."
In the U.S. they call it "No Really, I'm 'Working' From Home Day."

Monday, December 24, 2007

12.24.07


How it all went down. Really….

“It’s like, one day I was just chillin’ in the House of David, and the next thing you know I’m the winner of 'Who Wants to be America’s Next Top Virgin Mother of Christ?' Dude, Joe is never going to believe this!“

Merry Christmas Y’all.

Friday, December 21, 2007

12.21.07


I still done wonders how they get 'em so straight with out a lick of duct tape?

Thursday, December 20, 2007

12.20.07


There’s never been a better time:

Silverfox: I’m going to make this a December to Remember!
FOP: Oh, it will be memorable alright.
SiFo: They Ladyfox will be speechless, just like in the commercials.
FOP: Dad! Just because it has a combustion engine doesn’t mean…
SiFo: Now where do you suppose we get one of them big red bows?

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

12.19.07


Visually OxyMoronic
Although well-intentioned, Leroy’s attempt at promoting energy conservation via the use of wind power had area environmentalists outraged.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

12.18.07


Winter Hobo. A Haiku.

the hobo’s playground
smell of urine still lingers
a knapsack, empty

Friday, December 14, 2007

12.14.07


I'll have the bowl of chilled Ketchup please. What do you mean "am I serious"?

Thursday, December 13, 2007

12.13.07


NEW! Westside street signs encourage area pedestrians to:

A. Walk on.
B. Rock on.
C. Feel the Love.
D. All of the above.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

12.12.07


10 seasons later...
Minus the neon green bibs and rear-entry, white/pink Barbie boots, everything else is pretty much the same. Poop.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

12.11.07


Hey guys, guess what time it is?
It's freaking
LAMP TIME!

Yeah sorry.

Monday, December 10, 2007

11.10.07


Ahhhhhh, the Company Christmas Party...
Lets hark back to that one time when I told the boss his son resembled a cheap transvestite and then proceeded to hide smoked oysters in the pockets of all the coats stashed in the bedroom.

Friday, December 07, 2007

11.07.07


Yeah, so when I am done here I’ll probably end up hanging over your mom’s door or mantel or something!

Thursday, December 06, 2007

12.06.07


I’m gonna be honest, I spent a majority of the day trying to figure out what the phrase “give morning the burrito” means. The rest of the time I was doing this….

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

12.05.07


There are times when the view from my apartment reminds me that occasionally stepping on syringes and finding dead bodies in dumpsters isn't really soooo bad.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

12.04.07


A disturbing, yet simple way, to ensure you will never be subject to your company's "Random Drug Test Policy"... Again.

Monday, December 03, 2007