06.30.08

HEY YOU GUYS!
THE RUMORS ARE TRUE!
Legendary seaman, Jacques Cousteau AND popping corn tycoon, Orville Redenbacher had a love child.

06.27.08

1 Stoplight +3 lushes +1 Chinese Fire Drill* = Free Booze

*Hi, politically incorrect!

06.26.08

Oh heavens, this is a disaster.
How am I going to watch Mr. Piddlewinks make doo-doo on the neighbor’s lawn?

06.25.08

This may not be funny… But because my mental capacity is that of a 12 year old boy, it is totally hilarious. So I think I’ll just sit back and laugh.
Feel free to join me.

06.24.08

Chuck Norris launched a new line of toilet paper… too bad he never poops.

06.23.08

A little "Post Hee-Haw Week" palate cleansing.

Also known as: "What it looks like before y'all wake up."

06.20.08

HEE-HAW WEEK: DAY #5
Mountain man’s Booty Call causes mass hysteria amongst beaver population.

06.19.08

HEE-HAW WEEK: DAY #4

STEWART: It’s just too much flair isn’t it?
FOP: Um…
STU: It’s the sunglasses. The are just WAY over the top.
FOP: …
STU: OMG! I need a juice-box pronto, I’m parched!
FOP: …
STU: Doot! Doot! This is going to be SSSSSSUPER!!!

06.18.08

HEE-HAW WEEK: DAY #3

Meanwhile back at the YFZ Ranch…
Brandine!!!! Get over here. D.J. Warren J. told us to “churn the butter” while he was "shaking his salt shaker"... BTW that bonnet makes your booty more robust.

06.17.08

HEE-HAW WEEK: DAY #2
No Roy, I haven’t seen your belt buckle.
Yes Roy, I'm sure it's "that" big.

08.16.08

WELCOME TO HEE-HAW WEEK: DAY #1

It’s a ‘Ho Down

Chicken in the bread pan pickin' out grizzle
I got a living room full of fine dime brizzle.

Promenade round, go side by side
I keep a blue flag hanging out my backside.

I got a sweetie on my arm and i'm pouring SeanDon
I roll the best weed cause i got it going on.

06.13.08

Due to an “incident” involving, an ox cart, a drunk cowboy and a clogger, I am forced to abandon my post a tad early today.
Happy weekend…


Pictures forthcoming, to be sure

06.12.08

Flatulence Experts Conclude:
“Crop Dusting” unsuspecting patrons at your local Mexican restaurant... still hilarious.*


* YES! I have the maturity of a 12 year old boy, but I'll bet the people at Table #4 STILL think it was the garbage can!

06.11.08

Top Travel Innovations of the Past 1000 Years
1. Maps
2. High-bypass Turbofan Engines
3. Roller Bags
4. Cup Holders
5. Free Booze at the “Park 'n' Wait”

06.10.08

Area prairie dog does Gene Simmons imitation while simultaneously eating banana muffin!

06.09.08

Is it just me or were those baby greens a bit too salty?
It think my sodium-reflux is acting up again.
Oh gosh, how embarrassing.

06.06.08

Whaaaaaaaa?
Robert Parish no longer plays for the Celtics?
When did this happen?

06.05.08

NASA Scientist Erects $3.7 Billion Cell Phone Satellite in Front Yard.
Still Squats in Laundry Room to Avoid Dropped Calls.

06.04.08

I am sure your, um, “vittles” are very fresh. It’s just that I try not to, as you put it, "rendezvous", with people who classify “Gristle” as a food group.

06.03.08

RIPPED FROM TODAY”S HEADLINES

Cougar Captured in Area Man’s Backyard
The cougar was sighted early Tuesday morning, prompting a warning to young muscle bound males to stay indoors. Animal control officers were able to sedate the scantily clad animal in a backyard using a peach schnapps tranquilizer dart. The cougar will be returned it to its natural habitat in a seedy smoke-filled bar, a safe distance from the community...

And in other news there's this picture

06.02.08

Why did the sheeps limp across the road?
Wyoming was finished with them.

Ba dum Ching.
Sigh… Sorry.