01.31.07

Choose The Right? Hmmm. Your right or my right? I'm confused!! Ugh, oh crap, WWJD?!?!?!

01.30.07

'Sup brah?
Nada. 'Sup wit you?
You know, playin’ the ladies, and startin’ avalanches. Same old same old.
Dope.

01.29.07

Three cheers for the Black Lung! Toot! Toot!... um,Toot!

01.26.07

Fill up and you don't have to pay...
Ooh ooh ooh ooh...
Shimmy, shimmy.

01.25.07

Had this been taken by an autistic, deaf-mute monkey, it would be in the Smithsonian. Rather, it was taken by a highly intoxicated person lying on the floor at a house party. And therefore, it will end up in your virtual trash.

01.24.07

Mmmmmm, see...yeah if one more person proceeds to tell me about the missing cover sheet on my TPS report today, I swear I'll jump....Mmmmmm Kay?

01.23.07

Sometimes I think Mark Eaton and Larry Bird are hot.

01.22.07

My space heater just started my pant leg on fire... and I'm kind of enjoying it.
I'll get back to you.

01.19.07

Sweet, sweetness.

01.18.07

Don’t spit on the rich people’s parties. It really hurts their feelings... that and spending the evening with hotel security totally blows monkies.

01.17.07

I was going to look directly into the sun, and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling signs.

01.16.07

It’s not that you aren’t good for me. It’s just… right now in my life, I think I need to pursue other opportunities. To be honest you're pretty plain. I mean if it weren't for the dressing, I probably would have nothing to do with you.
We can still be friends.

01.15.07

I have a dream...
It's the one where it's warm enough that my tear ducts don't freeze shut when I go outside and my car starts on the first try.

01.12.07

When you think about it, not many people get use rotary tools, vises AND glide waxes when they go to work.

01.11.06

Stop me if you've heard this one...
me and my Adidas do the illest things;
we like to stomp out pimps with diamond rings
we slay all suckers who perpetrate
and lay down law from state to state
we travel on gravel, drit road or street
I wear my Adidas when I rock the beat
on stage front page every show I go
it's Adidas on my feet high top or low
My Adidas
My Adidas...

01.10.07

Tupac:Yo, Biggie! Get over here and check this s#*t out.
Notorious B.I.G.: Oh no he didn’t!
Tupac: Aw man, is that... punctuation?
Notorious B.I.G.: Whiteboy gets himself a Sharpie and thinks he’s all ghetto-thug.
Tupac: We get shot and the whole industry goes to hell.
Notorious B.I.G.: Playa, looks like it’s time for another posthumous album.

01.09.07

In order to sneak out of work early I will need the following:
1. Rock hammer
2. 24x36 poster of Matt Damon (or Tom Brady)
3. Bar of Soap
4. Morgan Freeman
5. The courage to crawl through five-hundred yards of poop-smelling foulness.

01.08.07

Naw, really I’ll keep and eye on your booze while y’all are shakin’ your groove thang.

01.05.07

I think the one thing I like more than cold weather, is cleaning dog poop, from the bottom of hiking boots... with a popsicle stick.

01.04.06

Triple Dog Dare? Anyone?
You, on the 26th Floor, how ‘bout it?

01.03.07

I farted... over there.

01.02.07

Dear Baby Jesus-
I know you are pretty busy with that whole just being born thing and those freaky wisemen who keep "dropping by the manger" so I figured I'd lend a helping hand and point out some sinners. I’m not tattletale or anything, I just think it’s important for you to be in the know when determining people’s salvation. I, for one, am not a sinner. This was taken by my photo minion. I was asleep by 8:32pm, like a proper Christian should be.