11.30.09

He had a big mouth and a round "little" belly, That shook when he laughed, like there was an entire turkey and some pumpkin pies rolling around in there...

11.26.09

Happy Thanksgiving FOP Friends
Love,
The O.P.*

*The Original Pilgrim

11.25.09

A Thanksgiving Native American Wish List

I wish these lazy pilgrims could harvest their own stinking food.
I wish tractors would get invented.
I wish these smallpox would go away.

11.24.09

PILGRIMS: A dialogue.

I think a blanket full of small pox is the perfect way to thank our native friends for giving us winter rashes.

YOU IDIOT! Not WINTER RASHES, they gave us WINTER RATIONS!

Uh, oh.

We’re all gonna die!

11.23.09

There’s still 4 MORE DAYS?!?!
Boy Scouts and connoisseurs of Thanksgiving Dinner agree, one should always BE PREPARED.

11.20.09

Eat, drink and be merry…
For next Friday you’ll probably be 10lbs fatter, standing outside a Wal-Mart, waiting to buy cheap electronics for your in-laws.


Happy weekend.

11.19.09

To the window.
To the wall.
To the sweat drops on that wrecking ball.
Til all this sheetrock fall!

11.18.09

Eat your heart out William Butler Yeats

No bats in caves,
Blue heavens wave.

Abandoned water spots,
On windswept mountaintops.

Shadows lurk in your Blu-blockers™.

11.17.09

Ruberoid Hoarding?

“Don’t suppose you got some asbestos siding and a can of fix-a-flat?”

“Funny you should mention it, I just happen to have some in my pantry.”

11.16.09

Duck. Duck. Coot?
Also known as a fulica americana or “Mud Hen”, the coot is fresh water bird found throughout the U.S. and is often confused with the more common, bathroom-variety “Mud Falcon.”

11.13.09

NICE WORK SILVERFOX!
Sure they may not be a Cheval Blanc or even a Robert Mondovi, but a Bartles & Jaymes? YOU BETCHA!

11.12.09

Ripped from the Headlines*
Local TV station’s investigative report reveals: Area man thinks the scars in his earlobes look like, “little butt-holes.”

* True story… but has nothing to do with the photo.

11.11.09

Veterans Day
A day where the men and women of America’s Armed Forces wake up, put on their pants, load their guns and continue to risk their lives to protect federal employees, librarians, bankers and mail carriers who all got the day off.

11.10.09

This is your brain,
This is your brain after an 8 hour meeting... minus that funky smell.

11.09.09

Larry that lens flare is really distracting... I almost choked on this old boot.

11.06.09

When I was 5 I used to think it would be so rad to live in a mushroom... I also thought snot bubbles were rad too.

11.05.09

It was right after this picture that my hands burst into flames.

11.04.09

Dude, you got some crud between your teeth.

11.03.09

My contribution to the Office "Chili Cook-Off" Potluck.
Bon Appetit!

11.02.09

Post Halloween Clean Up...

LDFX: You can put that on the shelf behind the Christmas Decorations.
FOP: MOM! You use the same bowl of candy corn every year?!?
LDFX: Of course, no one really likes that crap.
FOP: HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD THIS BOWL OF CANDY CORN?
LDFX: Hmm. Remember the year you dressed up as Rainbow Brite?
FOP: 1984?!?!?!
LDFX: Or was it JEM & The Holograms
FOP: Sigh…