10.31.09

You have sit on the hump.

I don't want to sit on the hump, it hurts my bony butt.

Tough.

Happy Halloweenie!

10.30.09

Halloweenie Week: Day 5

HALLOWEEN POT LUCK SIGN-UP SHEET!!!
Ghosts – Potato Casserole
Dracula – Pasta Casserole
Ghouls – Tuna Casserole
Witches… A keg?

10.29.09

Halloweenie Week: Day 4
Holy rusted pruning shears Batman! What happened?

Robin, boy-wonder and trusted side-kick, YOUR FIRED!

10.28.09

Halloweenie Week: Day 3
Shiver me timbers… It’s The Jolly Honda!
Lights-up the dashboard AND your cigarettes SIMULTANEOUSLY, savvy?

10.27.09

Halloweenie Week: Day 2
Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater…
Went home.
Probably with a sever case of explosive diarrhea.

10.26.09

Hey Ladies! Shine up your cauldrons and groom your warts its...

Halloweenie Week 2009!!

10.23.09

KIBOSH!!!
Surprised? Not really.

10.22.09

FOP: I wish I weren’t allergic to peanuts
RH: You should get some sunflower seeds.
FOP: Aren’t those the same as peanuts?
RH: NO, if they were they would be called pea seeds… or sun nuts
FOP: …
RH: Hey, I’m just sayin’ what everyone’s thinkin’

10.21.09

If Jeff Foxworthy were a photographer...
Sure not as artsy as those folks that make clocks out of driftwood, but still purdy nice.

10.20.09

DICE CHOP & MINCE IN SECONDS
With the HUMAN SLAPCHOP™!

Dismember in seconds not minutes. It's Quick & Easy.

Order your HUMAN SLAPCHOP™ now, and receive a Hefty Garbage Bag absolutely FREE!

10.19.09

Were there not a 3-ring circus going on in my office this afternoon, this may have been a better photo... but then again probably not.

10.16.09

Local christian rock band, "The Worship Circus" pose for the cover of their upcoming album Breakin’ Bread All Up in Your Grill.

10.15.09

Winter comes early for the mediocre photographer...

10.14.09

Hmmm, It’s clever, but what its really saying to me is “If you hitch a ride, your olfactory senses will be besieged with a splendid bouquet of wet, moldy ski bibs AND a gassy dog.

10.13.09

FOP MD
Ruptured spleen?
Blow to the kidneys?
Or was it the beets?

10.12.09

Another spectacular employment opportunity brought to you by FOP.
Heck, I bet if you asked nicely, you'd probably get Columbus Day off.

10.09.09

Barnyard Week: Day #5

This little piggy went to a tavern,
This little piggy drank alone,
This little piggy had a margarita,
This little piggy had rum.
And this little piggy said…
"I love you man"
all the way home!

Th-th-th-th-that’s all folks!

10.08.09

Barnyard Week: Day #3
I don't need no stinking wizard!

I’d be eatin’ cobs of corn,
While starrin’ in some porn
If my looks were not so worn
But instead this cart I’m towin’
And my chin, it needs some mowin’
If I only had a horn

10.07.09

Barnyard Week: Day #3
Local celebrity tries to OUTSHINE the inherent charm of America’s favorite barnyard native… Fail.

10.06.09

Barnyard Week: Day #2
Mom was totally pissed about the piercing… I hope she doesn't find out where this chain goes.

10.05.09

Dear FOP-

Are you going to have Barnyard Week this year?

— Sheepless in Seattle

______________________


Dear Sheepless

Did Colonel Sanders put potatoes, corn, coleslaw, chicken AND gravy AND CHEESE into ONE BOWL and call it a fine dining?

-FOP

10.02.09

Hey Young Man!
Stop me if you’ve heard this one: A mannequin, an attorney, a gay man, and a lush walk into a bar…

10.01.09

You decide.
A new variety of Kashi cereal?
OR
Caveman toilet paper?