06.30.06

It’s looks like the Silverfox will be setting up the ol’ booze-maker this year.
Let the bootleggin’ commence!

06.29.06

Due to gratuitous amounts of lycopene and lack of artificial sweeteners, parental discretion is advised.

06.28.06

YOU MUST PAY YOUR TITHING!
LOOK WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON’T PAY THE TITHE!!!!
GREAT! NOW ALL THE HYMN BOOKS ARE RUINED!!!!

06.27.06

I present to you cutting-edge fabric storage technology.
Good day.

06.26.06

Look at this incredible picture!!
And while you're doing that, I’ll be over here, stealing your stuff.

06.23.06

DON'T DRINK THE WATER!
It’s where the hobbits shave their toes.

06.22.06

I am going to need everyone to give me their chickens. How do you expect me to dance with this feather thing, if you do not give me your chickens?

06.21.06

When you wish upon a weed-star,
Makes no difference who you are,
You're probably pretty desperate.
Come on! Wishing on a weed-star! That's low.

06.20.06

Don’t feel bad, I kind of want to put a pimento in his navel too.

06.19.06

It came to pass, a lame picture was taken, and the people wept uncontrollably.

06.18.06

CELEBRATING THE SILVERFOX
Me:  "Hey dad. Happy Father's Day!"
SF:   "Thank you daughter. You are the most clever of all my children."
Me:  "Umm, yeah, well, where are you going to put it?"
SF:   "Oh, probably along with all the other gifts that won't get me drunk."

06.17.06

HEY EVERYONE, BREAKING NEWS:
Reseach has shown there really aren’t that many songs about rainbows!

06.16.06

CAKE! Everybody loves cake!
Yup, today is definitely a good day for a birthday cake.

06.15.06

“So, you think its gonna rain?”

06.14.06

FACT:
Gene Simmons has slept with 4,500 women and one Shitzu.

06.13.06

Don't be silly, of course you can borrow my anvil.
It's really not a big deal.

06.12.06

Pimp my shower.

06.09.06

Welcome to Shawshank.
If I were you, I'd grow eyes in the back of my head.

06.08.06

Evening Euphoria
Or, more commonly referred to as papaver somniferum.

06.07.06

To the poor fella who broke into my car last night at the gym:

You done got screwed!! HA! HA! Totally unrewarding, wasn’t it? Kind of like being behind Whitney Houston at a crack buffet. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy using my credit card. With a $500 limit, the opportunies are endless. You could build your VERY OWN meth lab. Or maybe invest in a couple of cheap whores, whom you can impress with my 1998 analog NOKIA brick phone. You may want to toss the Tupperware of half eaten oatmeal before it starts to smell; and the mascara in my makeup bag, it is old. DON”T USE IT. You’ll get a fungus.

Well, thanks for leaving the Kenny Chesney CD and Armor-All Wipes. Sorry I didn’t have cooler stuff. I’ll try harder next time.
West Side Pride 4-eva’

FOCP

P.S. The coupons for laundry detergent and tampons (in the pink wallet behind the Fresh Value card) expire today, so you’ll want to get after that. Oh, and contrary to my drivers license picture, I’m not Jessica Alba’s (HOTTER) younger sister. No, don’t feel silly, I get that, A LOT.

06.06.06

FOUR O'CLOCK PHOTO BORDER PATROL:
This one is for keeping the Wyomin’s out of the sheep.

06.05.06

If you can’t hide it, accessorize it… Preferably with glitter and beads.
For more PRIDE go here!

06.04.06

Ketchup.
Mustard.

06.02.06

An exposé of Idaho’s* illicit breeding practices.
* That’s where the tots come from.

06.01.06

JUST LEAVES?!?!?! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?
They are Wicking Leaves, with patented Advanced Moisture Wicking Technology and a Dri-release Mesophyll Protection Shell!!!!!