12.14.10

On the second day of Christmas...

Mother, have you seen the turtle doves?

Why no father, perhaps they’re hiding in your moustache.

12.13.10

Let America's most awesome holiday countdown BEGIN!
On the first day of Christmas I got a pear... on a propane tank.

12.10.10

Confucius Say:
“He who will not economize will have to agonize.”

Ladyfox Say:
“He who buys pants from garage sale  and doesn’t wash them will be very crabby.”

12.09.10

Behold!
The beast who tokes the wise-man's frankincense is a happy beast indeed.

12.08.10

BLUE
This makes me think of Gap (or THE Gap?)... which makes me want to go out and buy a pair of pleated jeans... and a ribbed turtle neck... with matching socks.
That is all.

12.07.10

This photo brought to you by the 10 extra lbs in my back pack.

12.03.10

MILLION DOLLAR IDEA: Steel-lined, knit-beanie.

12.02.10

Flagpole Spitta'
I double-dog dare you!

12.01.10

Ah yes, the old “chip-in-the-glass” trick.
It makes any holiday gathering more... uh, volatile.

11.30.10

Not Cool...
Just really, really cold. 

11.29.10

And finally...
I'd like to thank the Pilgrims for inventing this stuff. It's horrifyingly addictive, like a clown wrapped around a Percocet.
Amen?

11.25.10

Ummm, You got a little something on your nose.

11.24.10

In a world ... where yams and marshmallows are kept separate for 364 days a year, what they  needed most was right in front of them the whole time. See this forbidden romance blossom into the most illicit love story of all times. From the people that brought you Ernest Saves Christmas and  Jingle All the Way... FOPrah Studios presents Turkey’s in the Mist.
 

11.23.10

24HR Fitness: Booze Camp?

Take one down
 pass it around
7 bottles of beer... in the gym parking lot!

11.18.10

SMASHING, just SMASHING!
Pip Pip old boy! From the looks of you your sport coat & pinky finger,  i can see we’re headed for a jolly-good weekend.

Most indubitably fine sir, most indubitably!

11.18.10

Captain, it appears as though the only Earthlings that will allow us to probe them operate carnival rides. I’m afraid this may severely skew the data.

11.17.10

In case you were wondering, poor-people rehab isn't as glamorous as rich-people rehab.

11.16.11

Um, your donger is showing.

11.15.10

MOIST fall foliage.  Gross.

11.12.10

DUH LeROY! Its not them aliens that's causin’ them thar crop circles.  Its them runaway missiles!

11.11.10

This old chandelier, FOP and 48 States* would like to say Thank You to our Veterans!
*I'm sure Hawaii and Alaska say thanks too, but they aren't represented in this photo.

11.10.11

Why kids are awesome:
"LOOK MOM! The ground is farting."

11.09.10

GRAIN IN AN EL-EVATOR!
Scoopin' wheat up and droppin' it down.
GRAIN IN AN EL-EVATOR!
Droppin' that wheat 'til it hits the ground.

11.08.10

Give a hoot, your cock-eyed stare made me toot!
Ever wondered what its like to be mad-dogged by an owl?

11.05.11

An now for my next trick...
The guy, who uses vacation days to avoid sick coworkers, will eat a pickle.
Sadly this was the best I could do today. Happy Weekend!

11.04.10

These are not Jesus clouds.

11.03.10

Sometimes, when I  find myself in a duck-blind, I think a fun thing to do is pretend like I am the Baby Moses... until I get peppered by a 12 gauge birdshot and I remember that shotguns hadn’t been invented in 1525 B.C.

11.02.10

To: The Gentlemen of Moderate Rebellion Motorcycle Gang (GMR)
Re: Seasonal Uniform Change

Dear Members-
Coinciding with this weekend's time change we will be converting from GMR Leather Ascots & Embroidered Sport-coats to GMR Embroidered Leather Snuggies. If you do not comply you will be forced to drink cheap scotch and commiserate with under privileged children... with colds.

-GMR President

11.01.10

Why you should check your kid’s candy bag this year.
This year, at the family Halloween Party, somewhere between the power going out and the Ladyfox trying to put her ankles behind her head* the TV remote went missing...
So you know, if you find that in your kids' candy bag let me know.


* Yes, I have a picture of that. No I won't post it, I believe there are laws forbidding it.

10.29.10

HAVE A REALLY HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

10.28.10

It's not everyday that you can take an awesome picture of your boss* and post it on the interweb!

* You got a little sumthin' on your teefs.

10.27.10

Doooooode. Mary, stop hogging the bong... you remember what happened last time.*


* Yes, I am going to hell.

10.26.10

Um, when did Walker, Texas Ranger open a new rehab facility?

10.25.10

You light up my lamp!

10.22.10

Epidemic Tour 2011
Hey guys that H1N1 got a whole lotta airtime last year... What do you say we make a come back? From now on nobody wash their wings.

10.21.10

Hagatha Fartwitch?
Dude did you fart or are you just smelling your own breath?

10.20.10

It's your favorite christian rock band, The Worship Circus, back with their sophomore album Cre8torBoy!.

10.19.10

The most emusing photo you'll see on the interweb all day.

BA-dum CHING!

10.18.10

Sorry...
I'm a few fluffs shy of a puff today.

10.15.10

Pump-activ®
That Pre Jack-O-Lantern phase can be so awkward.

10.14.10

BULLLLL-BBBBBBB!
Today I discovered how much fun it is to say the word BULB.
That is all.

10.13.10

Honda v. Impala
Honda Crushes Impala* in J.D. Power Initial Side & Front Impact Rankings.


* Yes, I know its a pronghorn.

10.12.10

I guess I’m not the only one with 800 first graders,  3 ambulances, 2 fire trucks and one pissed off llama out side their office window today.

10.11.10

10/10/10

Congratulations to all you clever newly weds out there who got married yesterday... 

Although if you would have waited for today, I would have given you a life size replica of the Nina Pinta & Santa Maria instead of a Bed Bath & Beyond Gift Card!

10.08.10

Whats up turkey butt?
I'm beat... chicken feet?

10.07.10

My what big... eyes you have.

10.06.10

Dude, is it just me, or does it totally smell like hobos right now.

10.05.10

 I had the same reaction when I found out my sales rep was the 'husband' on TLC's Sister Wives.

10.04.10

Lights. Check.
Camera. Check.
Action... uh action?

10.01.10

Perhaps "Stop Shooting" would have been a better choice of verbiage.

Happy Weekend!