04.15.11

ORDER UP!
Eggs and a side of bread!
Happy Weekend Y'all

04.14.11

TRUE OR FALSE?
MacGyver was here?

04.13.11

Tell me a story Grandpa

A patient at a the Sunnyside Mental Institution looked outside one afternoon to see a man toiling in the garden below his window.

The patient yelled to the man, “What are you doing out there?”

The man replied, “Putting manure on these strawberries!”

“Hmm, that’s interesting,” said the patient, “In here, we put sugar and cream on our strawberries.”

04.12.11

Daffodilus Rhinitis.

04.11.11

Powder Slayer Cometh!

Yeah April!
A bit repetitive I know.

04.08.11

You can totally hear Sarah McLachlan in the background can't you?

04.07.11

FOP: Hi mom, what's up?

LDFX: I just wanted to let you know you didn’t turn out too bad.

FOP: Uh, thanks.

LDFX: I mean you don’t steal figurines from the cemetary.

FOP: ...

LDFX: and hoard them.

FOP: ...

LDFX: and then give them away as Christmas presents.

FOP: ...

LDFX: You don’t, do you?

04.06.11

Exhausted.

04.04.11

P.S. You suck!

Hey kids its your old pal Mother Nature!
Just thought I'd drop in and say SCREW YOU.
Have a good one!

04.01.11

Bovine Pictures presents

A Hereford Runs Through It

03.31.11

America’s FAVORITE Pastime is back!
Eating processed meats and water downed beer
BUT OUTSIDE...
and with more back-sweat!

Hell's Yeah America!

03.30.11

The Lebowski Collection: Inspiration thru Micturition.

03.29.11

OMG! A little pirate booty!

Kidding, kidding. This is a family site!

03.28.11

Sadly, today, all i can think about is a Swanson's Chicken Pot Pie.

That is all.

03.25.11

Dr.Feelgood... in sweatpants!
I “workout with”* a guy who looks like Vince Neil.**
So I guess its true what they say. Old washed up has-been rock stars are just like me.†

* I don’t know  if what he does is “working out” and technically its not “with” me.
**2 points if you know who that is.
† Also this has nothing to do with the picture... of course.

03.24.11

New for the Wii Fit:
American Hardship 0.1
Ten miles
Uphill
Bothways
In the snow.
BAREFOOT.
Test your athleticism, endurance and bitching skills.
Release date: 12.01.11. Reserve your copy now.

03.23.11

Contrary to other popular belief!

Today I read that it is actually the “ The Economy” that has lead to increased obesity...
Shove that in that in your pie hole weight watchers.

ALSO...
HAPPY 40th BIRTHDAY SHANE ZIMMERMAN!!!
And no you can't borrow my Velcro gloves.

03.22.11

LAMBasted
Baa, baa, black sheep,
Have you any wool...
more importantly have you a stick of butter or some bacon grease?
This is the 3rd time this month.
If it weren't for this giant head noggin of mine!

03.21.11

Welcome Monday!
Really its been fantastic, I'll look forward to it again next week.

03.18.11

Workin' overtime at the corduroy factory.

Happy Weekend.

03.17.11

It smells like drunk.
Happy Eat Like a Hobo Day!

03.16.11

Shiver me timbers!
No, really.

03.15.11

BEWARE!
The ides of March...
they are pretty scary I hear.

03.14.11

Daylight Saving Time
A time of sacrificing sleep for one more hour of daylight.
A time to spend figuring out (for the bazzilionth time) how to reprogram the alarm clock, the microwave clock, the oven clock, the car clock...

03.11.11

We will not die like dogs!
We will fight like lions!
Because we are...
The Three Ameagles
Look up here, look up here. 

03.10.11

What's goin' on?

Nuthin' dawg. Just standin here, millin' some wind.

03.09.11

Dude have you seen it?
Presenting the interweb’s less famous and slightly mundane meme:
Zero Girls. 16 cups.

03.08.11

Welcome March!
Well played, well played indeed.

03.07.11

EFT!!!!
Happy birthday to the best mom and buffalo proctologist in the world!

03.04.11

I think the word “jimmer” violates the BYU Honor Code.

03.03.11

There appears to be a fiery train wreck in The Valley...
Oh, wait, my bad... It's just Charlie Sheen burning the purest rocks this side of Bogata.

03.02.11

So what the hell now, we've already been forever damned
Anywhere you go I'll follow you down.

03.01.11

The Family Jewels
Displayed for your pleasure.
On the interweb.

02.28.11

Can I interest you in a snack from our beige collection?

02.25.11

And the winner is...
While, some of you will be watching the 83rd Annual Academy Awards "Ceremony" (a.k.a. The Oscar's) this weekend, I will be watching the epic highlights from ESPN's re-broadcast of the 2011 BassMaster Classic.
I think we all know who the winner is here.

Happy Weekend Ya'll!

02.24.11

Home Sweet Home
Mother, our EnergyStar Rating wasn't as good as I thought it'd be.

02.23.11

Feline Farmerblow
Um, not to be rude, but your cat has some... salivary issues.

02.22.11

HEY GUYS! I THINK I'M GOING BALD!

02.21.11

Moon.
Light.

02.18.11

It's President's Day Weekend Y'all!
You know what that means...
(White) House Party!


Take care kids.

02.17.10

What I learned by watching TV last night:
“If you poop a worm, and it’s alive, everything is not okay.”

02.16.11

FOP Says...
The best things in life lie at the end of the longest roads...
Especially if those things include severe exhaustion and giant blisters.

02.15.11

I Love You Man

How was your Valentine's Day?

My mom and I exchanged cards referencing farts.

Um...

I know.  I live a fairytale.

02.14.11

Sweet Nothing
Happy Valentine’s day to all you lovebirds out there!
Be sure to eat a dessert for me... or 5.

02.11.11

TOOT! TOOT!
Have a good weekend y'all!

02.10.11

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE
I don’t have a chin dimple... Well, at least one with hair in it.

So there’s that.

02.09.11

Breaker Breaker! This is Confederate Butterfly...
Brush your hair and comb your teeth, we's got a smokey takin’ pictures at the 121. Keep it at the double nickel and you’ll be riding a drop top in the hammer lane with a seat-cover heading for the owl. Keep the shiny side up boys!
Over and Out!