04.30.09

I got nothing…
Except this was taken near a golf course…
And that America’s favorite alcoholic-come-golfer, John Daly, has been advised by his coach to, “avoid setting any goals for this year...”

I guess that means the “2009 Clubhouse Keg-Stand Championship” will be up for grabs.

04.29.09

Less than 24 hours old and already more hair than his pops.
Welcome Porter Jon Bunderson.

04.28.09

Air Traffic Control this is Speedbag 207. How do you suppose I land this thing?

Speedbag 207, might I suggest between the lines and rubber side down.

04.27.09

Sure, they hide Fido’s Pee Patches or Urine Burns or whatever you want to call them, but I just don’t think it's going to win you the "Lawn of the Year Award."

04.24.09

Choose your FOP caption:

1. Hey, guess what time it is? OLD LADY TIME!!!

- OR -

2. Pearl Jam • “Vs.” • Track 10

04.23.09

Politically Correct... Not so much.

FOP: I think I’ve got food poisoning.
RH: GROSS! What did you eat?
FOP: I ate somebody’s burrito from the Break Room fridge.
RH: Was it the fat chick’s?
FOP: YOU ARE SO MEAN. But yes.
RH: WTF! If the fat chick wouldn’t eat it, what made you think it was okay?

04.22.09

Rejected Earth Day Slogans:

• Pee Twice. Flush Once.
• Global warming smells like bacon.
• If Gary Busey can recycle, you can too.
• Chernobyl, was it really that bad?
• Organic! It’s only a little bit rotten.
• Save the Earth, Ride Uranus.

04.21.09

Beg your pardon, I done took a peek at some of them FOPs, but I reckon it uses too many of them cuss words.

04.20.09

Two roads diverged…
… and welp ya see, if you take this road over here, you’re gonna see some dead trees and shitty silos. BUT, if if you take that road over there, you’re gonna see some dead trees and shitty silos.

04.17.09

According to Penal Code Sec. 1191.76
Your book!
Your book!
Your book is on FIRE!

04.16.09

"90% of Football is Half Mental."

BOOM! John Madden is retiring after 30 YEARS in the Broadcast booth...

Wull crap. Who’s going to point out the subtle intricacies of the intellectually intense game of football?

04.15.09

Baseball's Biggest Fan!

FOP: How was the game?

RH: The best baseball game I ever went to!

FOP: 7th Inning Stretch? Peanuts and Cracker Jacks?

RH: Naw man, it was ‘Rained Out” we went and got enchiladas and drank margarita's!!!

FOP: You should get season tickets.

04.14.09

Sir! Why have thou not partaketh of my Beanos?

Madame! I regret to telleth, thou Beanos give me Gasos.

04.13.09

Watching THE MASTERS with the Ladyfox.

LdyFx: Ha! These golf fans are hilarious. They say some crazy things!

FOP: I can’t believe we are watching golf on Easter. Most people eat ham.

LdyFx: Well… I think we should try and be a little more “golf-like”.

FOP: Mom… yelling “GET IN THE HOLE!” across the dinner table is not something I really want to say to you.

04.10.09

Cock-Eyed?

Dude seriously, what’s wrong with your little brother?

Hell, I dunno man, I just came out here to get some growth hormone.

04.09.09

Leroy: Them scientists found that “brown fat”, you know, the kind around yer neck, burns more calories than the “white fat” like on yer boobs.

Boss: Hmph. I saw some boobs once on the Tee Vee.

Leroy: Yeah Boss, the interweb says they makin’ a “brown fat pill” to help trim yer waistline.

Boss: That so? Done guess I’d better be orderin’ another pair o these stainless steel slip-hook suspenders.

04.08.09

The Four Little Pigs: What really happened.

The first little pig built his house out of straw.
The second little pig built his house out of sticks.
The third little pig built his house out of bricks.
The forth little pig built his house out of asbestos clapboard… needless to say the big bad wolf got lung cancer and couldn’t blow any houses down.

04.07.09

Broken…
Sometimes you’re the shovel.
Sometimes you’re the hole.
Sometimes you’re both.

04.06.09

A view from the GoodYear!

04.03.09

MUST SEE INSIDE!

• Spacious wood-paneled rooms
• Electrical outlet
• Contemporary wire window coverings
• A bag of something
• Sheet metal entry
• Organic floor covering

CALL TODAY! And receive a Chain-Thingy ABSOLUTELY FREE!

04.02.09

I miss global warming.

04.01.09

Happy April Fool(s) Day.
Celebrate like you mean it.