04.28.09

Air Traffic Control this is Speedbag 207. How do you suppose I land this thing?

Speedbag 207, might I suggest between the lines and rubber side down.

02.19.09

Remember that time when I didn’t want to sit through another pointless meeting, and I pretended to pass-out and they made me go anyway, and there weren’t even any snacks?

Such a waste of energy… Plus that floor was REALLY dirty… there were fingernails. Ick.

03.26.08

Uh...
Clark! Shitter's Full!

03.12.08

Ripped from the headlines:
1 in 4 teen girls has an STD!!!

Alternately, 3 out of 4 teen girls have “really great personalities.”

And on a totally unrelated note…

01.11.08

Reasons I could have jumped this week:
1. Asked if cell phone came with Zack Morris.
2. Found job on the list of “Least Secure Careers for 2008.”
3. Informed favorite male figure skater traded in “Puffy Shirt” for halo.*
4. Told I resemble Rosie O’Donnell… but in a good way.

Reason I didn’t:
AMERICAN GLADIATORS IS BACK!!! Are you warrior ENOUGH?


*Good night sweet prince.