05.04.10

DEEEEEE LUX!
Fish don't fry in the kitchen;
Beans don't burn on the grill.
Took a whole lotta tryin',
Just to jump off the third floor balcony to avoid getting caught by the PO-lice.

05.28.09

Reason #893.
Why I prefer a treadmill to running outside.
A lone middle-aged man,
Standing by the road,
In a residential neighborhood,
Cuddling a live bunny rabbit…

Trust me, it's creepy.

04.27.09

Sure, they hide Fido’s Pee Patches or Urine Burns or whatever you want to call them, but I just don’t think it's going to win you the "Lawn of the Year Award."