07.27.11

BOB-Bora Day #2

RH: The dentist says I have great teeth.
Adam: Time to get a new dentist.
RH: Well, I mean they are structurally sound... Just not as spectacular as say Gary Busey.

07.26.11

CONGRATULATIONS or MY CONDOLENCES
You've won a Four Day, All-Inclusive,Trip to BOB-Bora! THATS RIGHT BOB-Bora!

Yup, its that time of year, where FOP celebrates the birth of a psychological enigma!
You'll either be repulsed or enjoy four days of all obsessive-compulsive assholery Bob has to offer!

My suggestion don't open FOPs for the next for four days.
But if you're so inclined, here is:

BOB-Bora Day #1
Not really sure whats going on, but enjoy!

06.08.11

RH: Does this Tweet make me look hot?
FOP: Um, yes... In that "Scandalous Congressman" sort of way.

05.16.11

Well I sprayed the driveway
With the cold water
With the cold water
With the cold water
Sprayed the driveway
With the cold water
With the cold water
With the cold cold water

05.05.11

Culturally Insensitive, Who me?

RH: Hey when is Cinqo de Mayo, I think it’s one of those ‘floating holidays’.

FOP: Uhhh…. July 17th mark your calendar...

RH: And how is it celebrated?

FOP: I think a bearded Mexican goes around tossing burritos down people’s chimneys.

RH: You mean there’s going to be bearded Mexican on my roof!!!!!!!!!

FOP: Only if you leave a margarita and plate of churros.

04.08.11

You can totally hear Sarah McLachlan in the background can't you?

04.01.11

Bovine Pictures presents

A Hereford Runs Through It

03.28.11

Sadly, today, all i can think about is a Swanson's Chicken Pot Pie.

That is all.

01.25.11

To The Big Old Fire Hydrant in the Sky.
You were one crazy defiant energetic cantankerous S.O.B.
I’ll still miss you...Except for all those times you put your nose in my crotch.

01.24.10

Wonder what it's like to ride shotgun with RoboCop?
It's kind of like this...

12.21.10

On the ninth day of Christmas...
This is Lady. She's dancing... against her will.

12.16.10

On the Fourth Day of Christmas...

Hello Birds,
It's Bob calling. Could you shut the hell up?
Yeah, I don't really care if it is Christmas. (Click!)

Hello Bob-
These are the birds calling. Yeah we'd like our 1997 flip phone back.

11.05.11

An now for my next trick...
The guy, who uses vacation days to avoid sick coworkers, will eat a pickle.
Sadly this was the best I could do today. Happy Weekend!

09.14.10

1 DAY • 3 STATES • 206 MILES • 6000 DOUCHEBAGS

I watched our dear friend (Bob) ride 206 miles with a bunch of douchebags and all I got was this lousy picture… and also, to ride in a car that smelled of Yak cheese and open wounds.


See below for the podium shot.

07.30.10

Bob Mitzvah Week: Day 5

Dear Bob-

You are pretty spectacular. Suave, witty, compassionate, and VERY fashionable, but I think this guy tried to steal your thunder… and your receipts. If he didn’t live west of 1300 E., you’d probably have to fire bomb his house. Anyhow, before you go looking for your receipts in all the “usual places”… under the car, the parking garage, in the RedBox DVD cases… you may want to check under the top-hat and ruffles.

Cheerio!
FOP

07.29.10

Bob Mitzvah Week: Day 4

“Today is my birthday! I can’t believe they didn’t make it a national holiday.”
DON’T ASK WHAT BOB CAN DO FOR YOU! ASK WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR BOB!

07.28.10

Bob Mitzvah Week: Day 3

RH: I think I’m a likeable guy.

FOP: People think you’re an asshole.

RH: Not possible.

FOP: You just asked that girl if her mom slept with Encino Man!

RH: Totally legitimate question. You saw her forehead.

07.27.10

Bob Mitzvah Week: Day 2

RH: ADAM! We got invited to the same party! Pretty cool, don’t you think?

Adam: …

RH: You know how we could make this moment more about me? By putting these on our heads.

Adam: …

RH: Do you think someone is trying to burn down my house?

Adam: Yes.

07.26.10

There comes a time in every mans life… okay maybe just one man’s life… when he evolves from that quirky guy who has mustard stains on his shirt and worries about whether he has a sunburn on his forehead to that middle aged guy who sprays off his driveway in his underwear, yells at the neighbor kids to stay off his lawn and honestly believes the mailman is trying to steal his identity.

It is a coming of age, a rite of passage, a celebration of the fact that you will ALWAYS buy gear that is better than everyone around you… and that you will always be way better than poor people!!!

So this week, let us raise our Barbacoa Burritos and El Chihuahua Death Stars and celebrate,

The “Bob” Mitzvah!

04.19.10

Dear FOP:

I haven’t seen anything from RH in a while. Is he okay?

Curious in Colorado
_______________________

Dear Curious-
I’d like to introduce you to the man who single handedly took an entire mountain of skiers (including a handful of his elite colleagues) back to the 1980s with his epic Daffy skillz. The past few months have been filled with booze and turret-esque shouts of
STAY OFF MY LAWN!
Regards-
FOP