01.07.10

Aw shucks LeRoy, I’m done sure its thick enough to take out the Ski Doos*.
*Pronounced SKUH-duuuuuuues.

01.06.10

I’m just sayin’, lots of people would kill for a picture of industrial-looking cheerios, a few rusted nuts and a length of wire.

01.05.10

Frost... On a stiiiiiiiiiiick!

01.04.10

Welcome 2010!
It wasn't until recently that I realized not everybody rings in the New Year with a gold coin, 4 pounds of butter and some plastic wrap. Who knew?

12.31.09

Looking back on 2009, The Ladyfox recalls it as "extraordinarily green".
Party like you mean it!

12.30.09

I Triple-Dog Dare You!
The human tongue has about 10,000 taste buds, but the Anarhichas Lupus, more commonly known as THE SEAWOLF, has 27,000.

Thought you should know.

12.29.09

Let's go fly a crow
Up where CO2 emissions flow.

Let's go fly a crow
You'd make more whoring.

Up through the atmosphere
Global warming is nothing to fear!

Oh let's go... Fly a crow!

12.28.09

Santa Gonna Knock You Out!
The customary FOP Post Christmas Boxing Day* photo!

* You can thank our neighbors to the north for this awesome holiday, eh.

12.25.09

The 12 Days of FOPFestivus
Day 12: May all your Christmases be BRIGHT. Really, really bright.

12.24.09

The 12 Days of FOPFestivus
Day 11: DUDE, PIPERS PIPING! NOT SWISHERS SWEETING! I can't believe you forgot the pipes! I can't believe we're even friends with you.

12.23.09

The 12 Days of FOPFestivus
Day 10: Lord a leaping.

12.22.09

The 12 Days of FOPFestivus
Day 9: "Ladies"? Dancing, errr, I mean carrying bags of ice. Sort of a Whiskey Tango, as it were.

12.21.09

The 12 Days of FOPFestivus
Day 8: MAIDS! MAIDS! WHERE ARE THE FREAKING MAIDS?
I’m just saying, this udder ain’t gonna milk itself.

12.20.09

The 12 Days of FOPFestivus
Day 7: "Swans" a Swiming.

12.19.09

The 12 Days of FOPFestivus
Day 6: Geese. None of which are laying... Definitely not the 3rd from the left.

12.18.09

The 12 Days of FOPFestivus
Day 5: GOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLDDDDDD RIIIIIIIIIIINGS!

12.18.09

The 12 Days of FOPFestivus
Day 4: A calling bird? How dreamy.
Don't Hurt em'Johnny!

12.16.09

The 12 Days of FOPFestivus
Day 3: My True Love gave me a French:
a. Kiss
b. Car
c. Hen
d. Fry

11.15.09

The 12 Days of FOPFestivus
Day 2: Two turtle-doves… with aloe.

12.14.09

Per the Silverfox's request...

“The 12 Days of FOPFestivus”*
Day 1: Still no partridge, and a pear-sieve.

*or as I like to call it “A good way to waste 12 random photos I’ve taken during the year!”

12.11.09

Don't suppose there’s much need for a fence when all your done animals are froze to death.

Happy Weekend!

12.10.09

Mama Said Knock You Out!

FOP as Tyler Durden: The first rule of Fight Club… didn’t mention taking pictures.
Step into my octagon ladies!

12.09.09

You Light Up My Menorah.
The only thing lamer than this picture would be a song about Hanukkah… written by Orrin Hatch (R-Utah).

12.08.09

The sound of silence…
Broken by the incessant whirring of “snow tires” against the icy asphalt.
Burt rubber and the smell of wet wool permeates the frigid morning air.
Space heater crashes server... IT guy on a singles cruise?
Good morning Tuesday.

11.07.09

Unpopular teenage girls protest area FoodMart produce display claiming, “It makes it too darn hard to get to the Red Box!”

Helen Kessler, a frequent FoodMart/RedBoxer said, “Every Friday, me and some other dateless girls would huddle around the RedBox in our pajama pants, pick-out movies, and go get snacks! But now, it’s just too complicated… This is worse than when they ran out of those low-fat ice cream sandwiches.

The FoodMart released a statement saying that the display would be there for the next month but because of, “our incredible pricing strategy it may clear out before the end of the week!”

When asked what she’d do next, Ms Kessler responded, “I guess I’ll probably go to the RedBox in the Kwiki Lube parking lot… This is the worst Friday ever.”

12.04.09

These ain't your pimps SPINNARZ!

Anyhow, happy weekend.

12.03.09

A Little Bit of Pearl Jam on Your Thighs
Today I was reminded how much I miss Flannel Lined pants…
I was also reminded that they made me look fat.
Thanks for nothing 1992.

12.02.09

I seemed to have misplaced my scissors?

Ba-dum ching!

12.01.09

Total eclipse of the corn hole.

11.30.09

He had a big mouth and a round "little" belly, That shook when he laughed, like there was an entire turkey and some pumpkin pies rolling around in there...

11.26.09

Happy Thanksgiving FOP Friends
Love,
The O.P.*

*The Original Pilgrim

11.25.09

A Thanksgiving Native American Wish List

I wish these lazy pilgrims could harvest their own stinking food.
I wish tractors would get invented.
I wish these smallpox would go away.

11.24.09

PILGRIMS: A dialogue.

I think a blanket full of small pox is the perfect way to thank our native friends for giving us winter rashes.

YOU IDIOT! Not WINTER RASHES, they gave us WINTER RATIONS!

Uh, oh.

We’re all gonna die!

11.23.09

There’s still 4 MORE DAYS?!?!
Boy Scouts and connoisseurs of Thanksgiving Dinner agree, one should always BE PREPARED.

11.20.09

Eat, drink and be merry…
For next Friday you’ll probably be 10lbs fatter, standing outside a Wal-Mart, waiting to buy cheap electronics for your in-laws.


Happy weekend.

11.19.09

To the window.
To the wall.
To the sweat drops on that wrecking ball.
Til all this sheetrock fall!

11.18.09

Eat your heart out William Butler Yeats

No bats in caves,
Blue heavens wave.

Abandoned water spots,
On windswept mountaintops.

Shadows lurk in your Blu-blockers™.

11.17.09

Ruberoid Hoarding?

“Don’t suppose you got some asbestos siding and a can of fix-a-flat?”

“Funny you should mention it, I just happen to have some in my pantry.”

11.16.09

Duck. Duck. Coot?
Also known as a fulica americana or “Mud Hen”, the coot is fresh water bird found throughout the U.S. and is often confused with the more common, bathroom-variety “Mud Falcon.”

11.13.09

NICE WORK SILVERFOX!
Sure they may not be a Cheval Blanc or even a Robert Mondovi, but a Bartles & Jaymes? YOU BETCHA!

11.12.09

Ripped from the Headlines*
Local TV station’s investigative report reveals: Area man thinks the scars in his earlobes look like, “little butt-holes.”

* True story… but has nothing to do with the photo.

11.11.09

Veterans Day
A day where the men and women of America’s Armed Forces wake up, put on their pants, load their guns and continue to risk their lives to protect federal employees, librarians, bankers and mail carriers who all got the day off.

11.10.09

This is your brain,
This is your brain after an 8 hour meeting... minus that funky smell.

11.09.09

Larry that lens flare is really distracting... I almost choked on this old boot.

11.06.09

When I was 5 I used to think it would be so rad to live in a mushroom... I also thought snot bubbles were rad too.

11.05.09

It was right after this picture that my hands burst into flames.

11.04.09

Dude, you got some crud between your teeth.

11.03.09

My contribution to the Office "Chili Cook-Off" Potluck.
Bon Appetit!

11.02.09

Post Halloween Clean Up...

LDFX: You can put that on the shelf behind the Christmas Decorations.
FOP: MOM! You use the same bowl of candy corn every year?!?
LDFX: Of course, no one really likes that crap.
FOP: HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD THIS BOWL OF CANDY CORN?
LDFX: Hmm. Remember the year you dressed up as Rainbow Brite?
FOP: 1984?!?!?!
LDFX: Or was it JEM & The Holograms
FOP: Sigh…