09.08.11

METH-amorphasis
The physiological process by which previously vibrant and beautiful being becomes tattered, worn and sinks into an utter state of hollow-cheek-oozing-scab hopelessness. Once evicted from the familial cocoon, it moves into a urine-soaked trailer with its gun trading boyfriend and its babies are taken away.

08.09.11

My Pod
Here look at this while I go to a meeting!

05.25.11

POOF! Your lawn looks like crap!

03.08.11

Welcome March!
Well played, well played indeed.

02.10.11

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE
I don’t have a chin dimple... Well, at least one with hair in it.

So there’s that.

02.04.11

XLV
Dude, I am sooooo freakin’ excited for this Superbowll match-up!
Ive been waiting for it since like, 1974. Seriously... Just sitting out here... waiting.

01.21.11

Like it was yesterday...
Remember that time you ate that whole can of Jalapenos... by yourself?
This kind of reminds me of that.


happy weekend!

11.30.10

Not Cool...
Just really, really cold. 

11.12.10

DUH LeROY! Its not them aliens that's causin’ them thar crop circles.  Its them runaway missiles!

11.10.11

Why kids are awesome:
"LOOK MOM! The ground is farting."

10.13.10

Honda v. Impala
Honda Crushes Impala* in J.D. Power Initial Side & Front Impact Rankings.


* Yes, I know its a pronghorn.

09.27.10

My September Guest.

Robert Frost failed to mention a severe case of herpes in any of his Autumnal literary compilations.

05.28.10

Memorial Weekend 5:28
Lo and it came to pass that on this weekend of Memorial, there was only one snow-free camping spot in all the land. And the sun shone down upon it with the fury of a thousand camp fires. And millions ventured forth towards it. And it was good.

05.19.10

That whole "walking on water" schtick, yeah, that was my idea.

04.27.10

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!

03.31.10

RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES:
Students Seek To Get High Legally.

Well this is a sorry state of affairs. Are today's youth that unmotivated? Back in my day we hijacked a bush plane and flew to Columbia with a pocket full of stolen water balloons and Ex-Lax to get high.

03.11.10

TWO THINGS THAT MAY BE CONSIDERED INAPPROPRIATE:
1."I have a life size cardboard cut-out of Merlin Olsen in my garage... don't ask me why."
2. See above.

03.04.10

Deep Thoughts...

Every time I drive by The Mad Greek I wonder if they mean CRAZY Mad OR ANGRY Mad. Either way that Greek is probably “mad” because no one really knows how to pronounce GYRO.

Poor Greek.

02.24.10

Yellow.Snow.
Pathetic. I know.*

* I did crop a sign post out, cuz I'm that classy.

02.22.10

FOP? Not tonight, i have a headache.