09.20.10

Like Father Like Son...
Furthermore, I wouldn't get in a car or any closed-space with either of you post burrito... OR double cheese burger...EVER!

11.07.09

Unpopular teenage girls protest area FoodMart produce display claiming, “It makes it too darn hard to get to the Red Box!”

Helen Kessler, a frequent FoodMart/RedBoxer said, “Every Friday, me and some other dateless girls would huddle around the RedBox in our pajama pants, pick-out movies, and go get snacks! But now, it’s just too complicated… This is worse than when they ran out of those low-fat ice cream sandwiches.

The FoodMart released a statement saying that the display would be there for the next month but because of, “our incredible pricing strategy it may clear out before the end of the week!”

When asked what she’d do next, Ms Kessler responded, “I guess I’ll probably go to the RedBox in the Kwiki Lube parking lot… This is the worst Friday ever.”

08.12.09

Poseidon + Half-Priced Sushi = Technicolor Scream

06.17.09

You say tomato…
I say 57 preservatives and 27 seconds in a blender shy of a condiment.

12.10.08

Where did all this poop come from?!?!

I did all the poops.

EW!!! Why?

Poop is funny. In fact I just pooped while you were taking my picture.

11.06.08

How to Impress a Lady
By “A Published Poet”

Booze in a wine glass,
It couldn’t be much posher.
Maybe for our next date,
I’ll hire a dish washer.

09.19.08

Ripped from the headlines:
“PETA Roaring Mad as U.S. Consumption of Tigers Blood Reaches All Time High.”

09.10.08

We all live downstream… from an elephant… with severe diarrhea.

08.14.08

RIDDLE ME THIS:
It runs your car AND gives you the runs!
What is it?

08.13.08

Appetizers!
It’s what’s for dinner!
When your date is ugly!

06.25.08

This may not be funny… But because my mental capacity is that of a 12 year old boy, it is totally hilarious. So I think I’ll just sit back and laugh.
Feel free to join me.

06.24.08

Chuck Norris launched a new line of toilet paper… too bad he never poops.

02.01.08

Hey you! HEY! Yeah you!
Quit pooping on my window!

11.13.07

Ahhhhhh little grasshopper...
Head too close to lens make for blurry face!

09.10.07

Look at this picture, while I mentally recuperate from driving 600 miles in 24 hours, with a man who suffers from chronic verbal diarrhea.