05.29.09

Don’t be Greedy!
Half a hotdog is better than NO hotdog at all!

05.28.09

Reason #893.
Why I prefer a treadmill to running outside.
A lone middle-aged man,
Standing by the road,
In a residential neighborhood,
Cuddling a live bunny rabbit…

Trust me, it's creepy.

05.27.09

Humor me...
BORING, I KNOW! Move along, move along.

05.26.09

Dr. SUESS
One fish, two fish
Red fish, blue fish!

Dr. FOP*
Red cake, green chair
Blue eyes, blonde hair!

* Technically, I'm not really a "Dr.", I just play one on the Interweb.

05.25.09

Hey Look! It's a Memorial Day FOP!
You know, because I'm festive like that!

05.22.09

Humble Birth +Dutiful Life = Indomitable Tombstone
Yeah we’re gonna need another truck load of mums.

Be safe out there y’all!

05.21.09

What’s up?
You know,
Lookin’ good.
Makin’ smellyass cheese.
Gnawin’ some string.

05.20.09

Above that retaining wall are the train tracks.
If you look close, you may be able to spot incredibly rich hobo… or at least one with some flashy gold Grillz.

05.19.09

Word combinations I am thankful for, but could be construed as gross and/or totally inappropriate:
"Yarn Balls" and "Sweat Pants"

05.18.09

An oldie but goodie:

Birdie, birdie in the sky,
Let a turdie in my eye.
I won’t pout, I won’t cry,
I’m just glad that giraffes, elephants, sperm whales and polar bears don’t fly.

05.15.09

Friday. Flower. Toot Toot.

05.14.09

Are Peanut M&Ms falling from the sky today?

Yes, El Guapo.

05.13.09

A one, two. A one, two, three, four…

Young man, when you’re dressed like a clown
I said, young man, and you crave something brown.
I said, young man, just look lower down
There’s something warm and fudgey!

Sigh.

05.12.09

Dear JOSH,

Sorry I has to bounce with out saying good-bye. It was really early and I was tired of getting shot at, and tired of getting chased by the PO-Lice. I tried to leave you a note, but I couldn’t find a pen and my email was down. I hope you got the message. I’ll be at Thugs Mansion around noon if you need me.

Regards,
2Pac

05.11.09

If I were the type of person who looked at their Kleenex after a little nose blowing, I’m pretty sure this is what I’d see.

05.08.09

She’s puttin' the “hood” in motherhood.
You stay classy Ladyfox!
Love your guts!
Um, your shirt… what’s that all about?

05.07.09

5 things that scare me and have nothing to do with this photo:

1. Sea creatures (Not so much shrimp or lobsters, rather clams and mussels.)
2. Leprosy
3. Robots that look like humans
4. Empty booze bottles
5. Realizing my house is on fire while I’m in the shower

05.06.09

WANTED: Shot Guns and/or Chainsaws

This tree is beautiful.
My parking space is near this tree.
A bird with explosive diarrhea lives in this tree.

05.05.09

Olé!
It appears as though he smuggled both the cigar and the moustache across the border.

05.04.09

Five Stars
•Nachos! Now 25% Less Stale!
•Hotdogs! Not boiled in hose-water anymore!
•We obey "The 10 Second Rule" most of the time!

05.01.09

BURGERS BOOZE & BUSEY

WARNING: Gary Busey has been released from Celebrity Rehab and is looking for your booze!

Have a Busey-ful weekend!