07.11.11

YOU ARE A FIERCE LITTLE GATEKEEPER!
Yes you are. Yes you are!

06.22.11

Basket of Quackers.

Heh. Heh.

09.24.10

Wull All Be Damned!
I looks to be about quittin' time!

09.22.10

You are a sweaty pig face... No really, you are.
Don't be ashamed, I sweat on the tip of my nose too.

03.03.10

We are experiencing some technical difficulties at FOP HQ.

10.09.09

Barnyard Week: Day #5

This little piggy went to a tavern,
This little piggy drank alone,
This little piggy had a margarita,
This little piggy had rum.
And this little piggy said…
"I love you man"
all the way home!

Th-th-th-th-that’s all folks!

10.08.09

Barnyard Week: Day #3
I don't need no stinking wizard!

I’d be eatin’ cobs of corn,
While starrin’ in some porn
If my looks were not so worn
But instead this cart I’m towin’
And my chin, it needs some mowin’
If I only had a horn

10.07.09

Barnyard Week: Day #3
Local celebrity tries to OUTSHINE the inherent charm of America’s favorite barnyard native… Fail.

10.06.09

Barnyard Week: Day #2
Mom was totally pissed about the piercing… I hope she doesn't find out where this chain goes.

10.05.09

Dear FOP-

Are you going to have Barnyard Week this year?

— Sheepless in Seattle

______________________


Dear Sheepless

Did Colonel Sanders put potatoes, corn, coleslaw, chicken AND gravy AND CHEESE into ONE BOWL and call it a fine dining?

-FOP

05.21.09

What’s up?
You know,
Lookin’ good.
Makin’ smellyass cheese.
Gnawin’ some string.

02.27.09

I find that when someone is explaining a card game, It’s kind of like passing out party or sitting through a history class… except when you come to, no one has written dirty words on your face.

02.02.09

PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. - The world's most famous llama found some green shit in between his teeth Monday morning, predicting this already cold-ass winter will last for six more weeks. *

*I KNOW! I KNOW, it’s a family site. Pardon the expletives!

08.29.08

BARNYARD WEEK! Day #5


SALLY STRUTHERS & FOP BEG YOU TO SAVE THIS LLAMA
Share Your Love. Become a Llama Sponsor

Hello there,

Right now, all over the world, llamas are hurting. They are suffering from the embarrassment of that whole Neverland Ranch gig and the emotional stress of being Jacko’s Cozy Sleepover Friends. In addition to being "Jacko-horse-monkey-kitten-bunny hybrids", these genetic catastrophes are being robbed of their most basic need… dignity. In many celebrity petting zoos, 4 out of 5 llamas will die from humiliation within the next two years.

All that is needed is someone who will look into the eyes of a needy llama and say, 'Yes, I will help.'

Someone like you.

It doesn't have to be this way. Right now, living, breathing llamas need your love… and money. Please, find it within your heart and wallet to become a Save the Llama sponsor, and for as little as 39 cents a day (or about the cost of a Van Halen Reunion Tour concert ticket), you can help stop the suffering and give a deserving llama a better life today, and a chance for the future. Imagine the excitement when we tell a llama that someone wants to make a difference in its life!

Your tax-deductible contribution can be sent directly to me, FOP.

The life of a llama is all too short. Extend a hand, and extend the hope.

08.28.08

BARNYARD WEEK: Day #4
The goat’s got WEED! He got WEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!

08.27.08

BARNYARD WEEK: Day #3
Hey bro.
_____What up dawg?
You holding?
_____Yeah doode, I got some tin cans, a shoe lace and some bits of cloth.
Right on.

08.26.08

BARNYARD WEEK: Day #2

FOP (age 5): Dad, where does booze come from?
SLVFX: Inebriated cows.

08.25.08

What time is it when a chicken sits on a fence?
BARNYARD WEEK TIME! That’s what time it is!

08.07.08

You know the old saying:
“If the boot fits... your buddies probably call you Skeeter, and you have cars on your front lawn.”

06.10.08

Area prairie dog does Gene Simmons imitation while simultaneously eating banana muffin!