09.15.09

FOP FAIR WEEK
Where for just $16 you can buy 2 minutes with a 30 foot horse made of unsalted, sweet-cream butter or ONE of these.

05.13.09

A one, two. A one, two, three, four…

Young man, when you’re dressed like a clown
I said, young man, and you crave something brown.
I said, young man, just look lower down
There’s something warm and fudgey!

Sigh.

03.10.09

Just feel.

No.

Puuuhlease

No.

I just want to see if you can tell.

Fine.

Well???

No, I can’t tell that you are wearing Windstopper™ Underpants.

12.29.08

I like to call this one, "Humble Beginnings: The Dawn of Back Fat."

11.24.08

GIVE A HOOT!
DON’T… MICROWAVE TUNA FISH IN THE OFFICE BREAK ROOM!

08.28.08

BARNYARD WEEK: Day #4
The goat’s got WEED! He got WEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!

08.25.08

What time is it when a chicken sits on a fence?
BARNYARD WEEK TIME! That’s what time it is!

07.25.08

“BobHanukkah: The Festival of Bob” Day #5

LOOK AT THIS BOB!!!
Have a look at this beautiful MOTHER FREAKIN’BOB! He was last seen grilling RAW MEAT in his huge-ass back yard. He is about the most beautiful damn BOB in the whole world and chews on expenisive food all the time. If you see him, tell him he looks RICH and that you like his glasses.

07.23.08

“BobHanukkah: The Festival of Bob” Day #3

BUNDY: Hey, have you seen Bob? I wanted to tell him there’s case lot sale on handsanitizer at Walmart.

FOP: Hmmmm nope, but he might be over there with albino Samuel L. Jackson.

06.19.08

HEE-HAW WEEK: DAY #4

STEWART: It’s just too much flair isn’t it?
FOP: Um…
STU: It’s the sunglasses. The are just WAY over the top.
FOP: …
STU: OMG! I need a juice-box pronto, I’m parched!
FOP: …
STU: Doot! Doot! This is going to be SSSSSSUPER!!!

01.15.08

Ditchin’ the corn-pipe & button nose,
For 24” spinnas’ and booty ho’s!
Toot toot! Beep beep!
Awww yeah.

Thumpetty thump thump, thumpety thump thump!

12.06.07

I’m gonna be honest, I spent a majority of the day trying to figure out what the phrase “give morning the burrito” means. The rest of the time I was doing this….

11.14.07

Yes, "Mr. Piano Pants" is a very clever name.
No, I will not "tickle your ivories."