05.30.08

EXTREME MAKEOVER: FOP Edition
You built that door all by yourself? No shit?
Would have never guessed it.

5.29.08

U.S. Secret Service FAQ:
Why do agents seem to always wear sunglasses?
Secret Service agents sometimes wear sunglasses to keep the sun out of their eyes, so they can increase their ability to see what people in the crowd are doing. Sunglasses imply the agent has ample street cred and also, they “drive the ladies wild”.

05.28.08

Lets take a moment to pay tribute to awesome car chases, accurate traffic reports and the television series Airwolf (1984-1987).
Amen.

05.28.08 MIDDAY BONUS!

Plop! Plop!

05.27.08

So remember when I said I didn’t think one dandelion warranted leaving a bag of flaming poop on your neighbor’s doorstep? My bad.

05.26.08

The “Working on Memorial Day" To Do List:

• Memorize lyrics to TLC’s Water Falls.
• Determine etymology of “Badonkadonk”.
• Calculate the number of days to avoid pool after Lindsay Lohan has been there.

05.23.08

May your belt be strong and your SoloCup™ overfloweth this Memorial Day weekend.

05.22.08

I love it when you call me Big Pop-PEE!
Throw your hands in the air if youse a true playa…

Oh hush, you know thats brilliant... Sigh

05.21.08

FOR SALE Toto Hauler 3000™
Be the envy of old bittys everywhere! Great for commuting, stealing dogs and roughing up pesky neighbors. Financing available OAC.
Not responsible for any tornadoes and or flying monkeys resulting from reckless use of this product.

05.20.08

The Tribe has Spoken:
5 out of 5 NASCAR fans can fart with their armpits.

05.19.08

Sometimes, when I see the sun glistening off a beautiful waterfall as it tumbles into a crystal clear pool, I am reminded of society’s affinity for recklessly pursuing intangible dreams… and also of feminine hygiene commercials.

05.16.08

Hey ladies how’s it going this evening?
Yeah, this gig is more or less a little hobby for me, you know, when I’m not being Zach Effron’s butt double.

05.15.08

I just don’t think one dandelion warrants leaving a bag of flaming poop on your neighbors doorstep.
Three, possibly.

05.14.08

No Rufus, you don’t see Lemmiwinks!
You are a foot taller than me, the scenery changes, TRUST ME.
Honestly, one step closer and I’ll… are you giving me bedroom eyes! What is your problem!

05.13.08

STOP WEEPING.
I KNOW YOU LOVE CRAPPY PICTURES but we are experiencing technical difficulties here at FOP Headquarters.
Please stand by or don't. I hear TMZ.com is pretty awesome today.

05.12.08

I found the Mother's Day Taco Buffet to be quite lovely…
Pardon? No, it didn’t make me “toot”. A woman of my elite status does not flatulate… at least by conventional means.

05.10.08

Celebrating 34 Years of "Feats of Strength"

05.09.08

This image contains graphic content. Viewer discretion is advised.


Two valuable life lessons the Ladyfox has taught me… demonstrated by none other than the Ladyfox herself!

Thanks mom, I don’t know where I’d be without you!!!

05.08.08

Look Cooter!!! TWO jugs a punch!!!
I’ll bet they done got some of that Grey Poop-On here too!

05.07.08

Those Zany Gas Station Attendants

FOP: Hey… (put down 44oz diet beverage & Jumbo Box
of Good n’Plentys.)

GA: That’s $4.35. You know when summer starts around here?

FOP:Uhh, you mean like the specific date? ($4.35? This inflation thing is going to starve me.)

GA: Yea, I’m new here.

FOP: Umm, I think it’s June 20th or 21st

GA: I knew it. In Denver they are on a different system.

FOP: Wow… that’s…uh… astronomically fascinating?

05.06.08

Flower Pictures Cometh!

There's plenty more where this came from!
Mooooo ha ha ha ha!

05.05.08

FOP: Hey mom what are you doing?
LF: Looking for the take-out menu.
FOP: Chinese food? But it’s Cinco de Mayo.
LF: We’ll drink Corona.
FOP: Eggrolls instead of tacos, it’s just wrong…
LF: Fine, we’ll have Tacos on Pearl Harbor Day.
FOP: … I think you just insulted 3 different countries.

05.02.08

Springtime is here,
So i offer this tip.
Prepare for rhinitis,
And post-nasal drip.

05.01.08

“You know what chicks like? A really big logo… and really short jeans.”
Congratulations Silverfox on 25 years of ingenious designs.*

* and to the Ladyfox for making sure people done paid for them designs.