02.23.11

Feline Farmerblow
Um, not to be rude, but your cat has some... salivary issues.

08.25.10

Don't feel bad. I have a rough time applying liquid eyeliner too.

06.02.10

Hey Cats! This is better than Fancy Feast!
TURTLES!!!
The new trend in litter box technology.

02.23.09

What is it?
You haven't a clue have you?
Maybe I'll let you know tomorrow... maybe I won't.

01.27.09

A Healthy Relationship

RH: I’ve run 6 miles before.
Adam: You haven’t run 6 miles in your life.
RH: Have too. The “Run for Life” race. In third Grade. Six miles in an hour!
Adam: There’s no way YOU ran a 10 min. mile in 3rd grade
RH: I was FASTER than a 10 min. mile!!! I RAN 6 MILES PER HOUR!!!
Adam: …

5.29.08

U.S. Secret Service FAQ:
Why do agents seem to always wear sunglasses?
Secret Service agents sometimes wear sunglasses to keep the sun out of their eyes, so they can increase their ability to see what people in the crowd are doing. Sunglasses imply the agent has ample street cred and also, they “drive the ladies wild”.

03.03.08

It’s probably nothing… But I think your kid just ate the entire stash of Space Cakes in the company break room.*

*And oddly enough her mother does work here... so that passive aggressive sign on the fridge doesn't apply!

02.18.08

Due to a ocular strain of the Ebola virus*, accompanied by a weekend quarantine, I ain’t got nuthin. Oh and also, if you are the president and you happen to read this, your doin' a bang-up job. You make all the other presidents jealous. No Really, you do!! Have a super-fantastic day.

* Yes, I have pictures. NO, I won’t show you.

08.25.07

Deez is kats.
People who work on the weekends usually have 50 of them.
They smell like pee... the cats...and sometimes the people do too.
But they are still nice people... they just smell like pee, and so do their cats.
It's really a win-win situation.
Ok, well thats all I have to say about that.

UPDATE: This cats name is/was Eris. Dear Eris left us for the giant litter box in the sky on 10.02.07. You were a pretty cool cat, you'll be missed!