07.11.11

YOU ARE A FIERCE LITTLE GATEKEEPER!
Yes you are. Yes you are!

09.24.10

Wull All Be Damned!
I looks to be about quittin' time!

11.17.08

365 Days Later...
Happy 1st Burfday Charlie!

11.14.08

Explain to me again why you think we were robbed by “Irish Pirates”?

06.04.08

I am sure your, um, “vittles” are very fresh. It’s just that I try not to, as you put it, "rendezvous", with people who classify “Gristle” as a food group.

06.03.08

RIPPED FROM TODAY”S HEADLINES

Cougar Captured in Area Man’s Backyard
The cougar was sighted early Tuesday morning, prompting a warning to young muscle bound males to stay indoors. Animal control officers were able to sedate the scantily clad animal in a backyard using a peach schnapps tranquilizer dart. The cougar will be returned it to its natural habitat in a seedy smoke-filled bar, a safe distance from the community...

And in other news there's this picture

05.23.08

May your belt be strong and your SoloCup™ overfloweth this Memorial Day weekend.

05.16.08

Hey ladies how’s it going this evening?
Yeah, this gig is more or less a little hobby for me, you know, when I’m not being Zach Effron’s butt double.

03.07.08

Okay everyone gather ‘round! I’m going to show you what Marie Osmond taught me on the set of “Dancing with the Stars.”

01.24.08

Booty-shorts.
A pole.
Red shoes.
A dirty floor.
Uh... knee pads?

11.19.07

Weekend Report:
HOW I MAY HAVE DISAPPOINTED THE SILVERFOX IN THE PAST 48 HOURS.
While simultaneously proving I am, in fact, the Ladyfox’s daughter.

Declared White Zombie to rock infinitely harder than the Rolling Stones.

Shouted “Incontinent Whore!”… in a quiet restaurant.

Wore a bikini… with sequins… and fringe... Did i mention it was white?

Increased credit limit... from $500 to $1500

Talked to a boy… with tattoos... and nipple ring...Did i mention we were in a hot tub?

09.06.07

In a recent poll, 4 out of 5 women admitted to having this tattooed on their lower back between 1993 and 1997.

And in other news…
Flat.
Buns.
I like flat buns.
Flat.
Buns.
I like flat buns.

For the love, PLEASE make it stop!!