How to make someone (more specifically, myself) piddle their pants at 87mph.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
02.07.08
It doesn’t get more spectacular than this…
I mean if there were a few TownHomes, starting in the the low $200s of course, and an IKEA, it would be better… but overall, you know, its not bad.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
02.22.08
Sometimes a bit of color in the old tenement makes the price-gouging, domestic disputes, smell of raw sewage and shared bathrooms bearable.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
02.21.08
A Moment of Science:
I know a dude who grows this stuff in his bathtub… and also, he has heated toilet water (100°C).
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
02.20.08
An ancient American legend promises that anyone who unfolds one thousand origami napkin cranes will be granted an overpriced dinner… and piss off at least 3 of the waiters.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
02.19.08
RH: I have to run 3 miles for work.
FOP: Is this one of those Continuing Legal Education things?
RH: Everyone will see my sweet running shoes!!
FOP: “From Lawyer to Track Star: Personal Injury Law in a Nutshell” HA!
RH: How long do you think 3 miles will take?
FOP: You could probably pull it off in 30 minutes.
RH: That’s a 7-minute mile! That’s pretty fast.
FOP: …
RH: What?
FOP: I can’t believe you make more money than me.
Monday, February 18, 2008
02.18.08
Due to a ocular strain of the Ebola virus*, accompanied by a weekend quarantine, I ain’t got nuthin. Oh and also, if you are the president and you happen to read this, your doin' a bang-up job. You make all the other presidents jealous. No Really, you do!! Have a super-fantastic day.
* Yes, I have pictures. NO, I won’t show you.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
02.14.08
With this box of candy you are telling me you want to hear my perspectives on such intimate topics as foreign policy, politics and the current economic climate… it also implies you like it when I incessantly ask you “What are you thinking about?”
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
02.13.08
GOD: I’ve been thinking, and there aren’t enough douchebags walking the earth.
FOP: Hmmm? Are you sure? Look at all those cyclists in their tight pants on their expensive bikes.
GOD: True, but I think I’ll invent “skate skiing” for good measure.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
02.12.08
Warren Miller once said,
“You can't get hurt skiing; unless you fall.”
Not to be out done by John Madden who said,
“Hey Al, you ever kick a bag of bolts? BOOM!”
Monday, February 11, 2008
Friday, February 08, 2008
02.08.08
“How to Get Your Money’s Worth”
Featuring the Silverfox
FOP: Hey. Nice sweatsuit, are you going to workout?
SFX: No, just getting ready to have a glass of wine.
FOP: Are you sure there’s enough?
SFX: HA! Do cows give milk?
FOP: Maybe you should stretch or something
SFX: I am an expert when it comes to this.
FOP: Well, try not to pull anything like last time.
SFX: Have you seen my favorite glass?
Thursday, February 07, 2008
02.07.08
Hi! Yes, please have a seat. I will now entertain you with something called a “Yo Mama!" joke. Are you familiar with them?
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
02.05.08
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Monday, February 04, 2008
02.04.08
Did you make the Ground Hog Day party this weekend?
Hells yeah. It was off the hook dogg.
Doode, I heard Phil was totally wasted.
Man, my boy was rippin’ it up on the dance floor. Couple shots and he’s all getting’ down with his bad-self.
Speaking of, has anybody seen Phil lately?
Uh, last time I saw him he was “Bringing Sexy Back” allover the front lawn…
Friday, February 01, 2008
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