07.31.07

Remember when you were a young (32ish), carefree (mortgage due tomorrow!) student (lawyer)? Remember when jumping off the roof of a house into a pool got you all the hot chicks? And by "hot chicks” I mean a broken arm and bloodied nose.
[Sigh] Those were the good old days.

07.30.07

Warren Jeffs'/Kevin Federline's Family Tree...
and in other news, "Beyonce Knowles Falls On Her Face During Concert."

07.27.07

B:nnnlIt is my birthday.
FOP:nYes my humblest friend, it is indeed.
B:nnnlWill there be a party held in my honor?
FOP:nBut of course. We will celebrate your years of compassion,
nnnnlllkindness and generosity.
B:nnnlThere won’t be any poor people there, right?
FOP:nNo, the poor people have been exiled and the fridge has been
nnnnlllstocked with the finest meats and cheeses.
B:nnnlExcellent. Let the gift-opening commence.

07.26.07

I think, if we've learned one thing from all my glorious pictures of nature, it's that either you're a pelican or a pelican't.*

*I really don't know what this means.

07.25.07

Okay Kiddies,
Remember the time I asked for the Sega Genesis (with 32-bit processor, 32,768 simultaneous colors and texture mapping)… yeah, that kind of sucked. This year I think I’d just like a sack of money. You have six months to pull it together.

07.24.07

FOR SALE ’47 Cross Over Utility Wagon
Great for off-road and cross-country travel. Seats 27 comfortably. 48” Tires & Rims, Sun/moon roof and A/C standard. 5.9% APR for 36 months for qualified buyers.

07.23.07

The next time you go hiking with a pessimist, and you come upon a cliff, you should push them off because, hey, they were probably expecting it anyway.

07.20.07

“I will trade you FOUR, count them, F-O-U-R juniper nuts for that shiny thing over there and a bit of string… Joking? Does it look like I am joking?”

07.19.07

A VERY RANDOM Lesson in Gas Station Etiquette
If you hock a loogie on the flip-flop of the person on the other side of the gas terminal, don’t act so surprised if she farmer-blows on your motorcycle helmet.
It's called reciprocity jerk hole!!!

Do you think I need a tetanus shot?

07.18.07

Signs I am no longer a the Rockstar I once was:
1. The City Library is open 2 hours after I’ve gone to bed.
2. I go to the Library.

Poop

07.17.07

Aloha Weight Watchers!

07.16.07

At harvest time, between 6 and 8 mice/birds/rats/gophers are pulverized into every bushel of grain. You now know the secret of Grape Nuts Cereal.
Good Day.

07.13.07

According to the 2007 edition of The Bevis Wilderness Survival Guide, the best way to avoid being attacked by a bear is to, “always hike with a fatty.”

07.12.07

Back by popular demand!!!
HoseWater2000™®©
Good for the dog, great for you!
Now with 20% Fewer Parasites!

07.11.07

In Retrospect:
When the neighbor kid says, “It’s like Disneyland… but for poor people.”
It’s not as cool as you might think.

07.10.07

Q. If you had to equate Four O’Clock Photo with a historical event what would it be?

A. Remember when the Spice Girls announced they were getting back together for a world tour? It’s kind of like that.

07.09.07

At the time, I could have sworn someone saying that I was a photographic genius. Now, looking back, I think it might have been the booze talking.

07.06.07

To show their support of this weekend’s Live Earth hoopla, the Bush Administration has banned the use of toilet paper.

07.05.07

This years Fourth of July festivities included:

• A red headed man doing a pole dance.
  
• An air guitar/drum solo to Van Halen’s Panama
  
• A raw hamburger.
  
• A Jerry Springer style cat-fight including tube tops and fake nails.
  
• A heated discussion about raves, Caligula and fun things to do after church.
  
• A skinny, bald, white man swaying his hips while shouting, “Ya’ll don’t know me!!” to his neighbors.

Honestly, what more could I ask for? Toot Toot!

07.04.07

From the Four O'Clock Photo Mail Bag:

Dear FOP,

I have heard you are a big fan of America. Today is the 231st Anniversary of our Nation’s liberation from England's tyrannical crown and I was wondering:
What does Independence Day mean to you?

Sincerely,
Y. Doodle

07.03.07

HI!
Um, let this shiny thing distract you, while I think of something to say.

07.02.07

Hey, have you ever seen a hyperventilating prairie dog?
Would you like to?