07.09.07

At the time, I could have sworn someone saying that I was a photographic genius. Now, looking back, I think it might have been the booze talking.

07.06.07

To show their support of this weekend’s Live Earth hoopla, the Bush Administration has banned the use of toilet paper.

07.05.07

This years Fourth of July festivities included:

• A red headed man doing a pole dance.
  
• An air guitar/drum solo to Van Halen’s Panama
  
• A raw hamburger.
  
• A Jerry Springer style cat-fight including tube tops and fake nails.
  
• A heated discussion about raves, Caligula and fun things to do after church.
  
• A skinny, bald, white man swaying his hips while shouting, “Ya’ll don’t know me!!” to his neighbors.

Honestly, what more could I ask for? Toot Toot!

07.04.07

From the Four O'Clock Photo Mail Bag:

Dear FOP,

I have heard you are a big fan of America. Today is the 231st Anniversary of our Nation’s liberation from England's tyrannical crown and I was wondering:
What does Independence Day mean to you?

Sincerely,
Y. Doodle

07.03.07

HI!
Um, let this shiny thing distract you, while I think of something to say.

07.02.07

Hey, have you ever seen a hyperventilating prairie dog?
Would you like to?

06.29.07

WHAAAAAA?
The sun and the moon setting in the same sky?!?! Do you know what this means? No? Crap, I knew I should have paid more attention at space camp.

06.28.07

Talk about punishing an entire generation...

Y’all remember Disney’s Watcher in the Woods?
Y’all remember watching it in Elementary school?
What in the hell was that all about!!!

NERAK

06.27.07

When you reach the top you will be issued a T-shirt and ONE pudding cup.
Thanks for participating.
That will be $800.

06.26.07

Dear Sink Fairy,
I have been very good. This year I would like a vessel with a perforated pouring piece, to use for the purpose of artificially moistening the surface soil… and a helper monkey.
Amen

06.25.07

Q: Oh mystical body of stagnant water what secrets do you hold ?

A: Some empty bottles, 47 carp and a cow carcass.

06.22.07

Rumetheus, Tequilamedes, Boozaticus, did you hear the news?
Happy Hour starts an hour early today!

06.21.07

MEMO
Date: June 21, 2007

To: Biology Club Members
Subject: Making Phosphodiester Bonds to Last a Lifetime.

Due to budget cuts, the Biology Department will be forced to use the leftover St. Paddy’s Day decorations for the end of the year Protein Synthesis Party.

06.20.07

This is bull crap!
Why do I always have to be Goose? You said I could be Maverick THIS time!!! You know what? If I don’t get to AT LEAST be Iceman, I’m resigning my post as secretary of the Playing with the Boys Club.

06.19.07

I honestly thought I had seen it all. And then this happened…


[insert awkward silence]

06.18.07

ATTENTION:
Scientists researching the increase in methane gas in the atmosphere have cited cattle as a possible problem. But worry not dear friends, research is underway on dietary supplements, plugs and filtration devices in hopes of reducing these "releases".

In the mean time, lets all do our part. You know, before its too late

06.15.07

This question is a source of contention in the FOP family. Silverfox vehemently claims the title… yet, Ladyfox insists upon Jimi Hendrix or maybe Dr. McDreamy… she “can’t remember.”

06.14.07

Things that come to my mind… I’m sure y’all will have your own list.

• Nihilists [shrug]
  
• Tough Actin’ Tinactin
  
• Greg Louganis
  
• Softsational Rock

Summa breeze makes me feel fiiiiiiiiiiiine,
sumthing, sumthing.... MIIIIIIIIIIIND!

06.13.07

2007 Tour de Munch Rules & Regulations: A Guide to Proper Biking Etiquette clearly states in order to qualify as a CAT2 cyclist you must:
1. Make your tires do this.
2. Wear a funny little outfit.
3. Justify shaving your arms.
4. Be a total douche-bag.

06.12.07

Suspect blames local ruffians with planting incriminating DNA evidence. Enters NOT GUILTY plea in case of the Flaming Poo Bag.

06.11.07

Me: Vegan. So that means you don’t eat anything that comes from an animal?
Vegan Friend: Right. You should try it.
Me: That so?
Vegan Friend: Yeah, all the cool people are doing it.
Me: Like who?
Vegan Friend: uhhh, well... Moby.

06.08.07

Umm yeah, Mr. Trump just called... and he wants his hair back.

Ba-dum. Ching!

06.07.07

This reminded me... next to condiments, I’m pretty sure the red rope is the best thing that happened to my belly. HOLY CRAP! That’s 34 inches of fun and flavor! You can’t ask for more.

06.06.07

Honestly, so much as peep before 8am, Breakfast Time will become B.B. Gun Time.

06.05.07

Have you got your ticket to ride?
Well then, hold on tight kiddies!
America’s Favorite Radio Show Host is once again filling your hearts with awe and wonderment. I’m pretty sure even this Silverfox circa 1972 would be a tad jealous of such a glorious specimen.

06.04.07

In an effort to minimize the mosquito population and combat plague-like out breaks of West Nile Virus, state representatives have come to the conclusion that $1.7 billion should be invested in a ginourmous mosquito zapper.

06.01.07

For the art history buffs, today's photo is entitled:
"Life Imitates Art: A subtle juxtaposition of FOP and Vermeer"

For everybody else, I call it:
“Get you lazy ass in the kitchen and whip me up some tasty blog.”

05.31.07

Let there be light… over-priced, pretentious-hipster light.

05.30.07

Don't ever ask the local weather man to show you his "Storm Tracker."

05.29.07

Fear not little friends, you will all grow up to be the booze.

05.28.07

Babies done love themselves a big ol' heapin' spoonful o nature.

05.25.07

So what you are telling me is that if I spend $1,599.99 on a 3 Piece Mircofiber Sectional with Chaise I’m entitled to a FREE HOT DOG & SODA (while supplies last) and a duffle bag ($10 value)?
Hell yeah, sign me up!

05.24.07

Welcome to our Ond!
As you may notice, there is no 'P' in it
We’d like to keep it that way.

Toot toot!

05.23.07

Ripped from today’s headlines:
Area man informed there is such a thing as American Idol, vows to kick somebody’s ass.

05.22.07

Yeah, um, the sun called to let you know that it doesn’t really appreciate the competition AND that the glare off your left butt-cheek is disrupting several power grids in the Midwest.

05.21.07

Today's FOP is brought to you by: bactericides, fungicides, herbicides, insecticides, miticides, molluscicides, nematicides, rodenticides and a government subsidy.

05.18.07

So what you’re saying is studded, black leather chaps go OVER pants, not IN PLACE of pants?
Hmmmmm, well this is awkward.

05.17.07

“Darlin’ where I come from, we done call it dental floss.”

05.16.07

Virgin Mary's face in a tortilla? Pshawwww!
It appears as though your cocktail sauce is wearing a FREAKIN' HALO!
OBVIOUSLY a sign they value condiments in heaven…
I told you being baptized in a ketchup-font wasn’t sacrilegious.

05.15.07

You spent $5,000 and it doesn't even have a kickstand?

05.14.07

Nice story Silverfox. You are a pretty tough guy, but I’m pretty sure there was such thing as toilet paper in 1950.

05.11.07

Area bachelor reveals secret to achieving “ultimate chick-magnet” status.
Now, I do believe it’s time to get your sexy on.
Happy Friday kids.

05.10.07

Hey you! Bald man, in the leather pants and euro-framed glasses, stand under these and we will attempt to reveal your “deep inner beauty.”
Oooo, yeah, um, I’m gonna need the soft focus filter and 4 additional lamps.

05.09.07

Looks like I’m gonna need another order of home fries. Yeah, when I’m done here I got to check in with my P.O., pickup a new fanny pack, and get to softball practice. Any y’all seen my flannel shirt?

05.08.07

In order to evaluate your emotional and intellectual functioning I will be administering the Rorschach Tulip Test.

05.07.07

The undertaker is deeply concerned that his forehead may be sunburned.

05.04.07

A quote from one of America’s most esteemed legal minds:
“Cinco De Mayo? When the hell is that?”

-R. W. Harrow, Esq.

05.03.07

Hey, what's up? Me? Oh, I was just sitting here thinking maybe that love-sick, diaper-wearing astronaut wasn't such a nut-job after all.

05.02.07

Titticus!!!! Stop putting your burlap underwear in my bucket!

05.01.07

Say what?
You want me to squeeze down your gearshift and pick up some old hot tamales? Frankly, I’m not sure what that means, but your innuendo is priceless.