12.31.07

The traditional New Years fridge.*
* The bottled water is just for show.

12.28.07

I'm pretty sure this is what my veins currently look like.

12.27.07

Rejected taglines for PETE (People for the Ethical Treatment of Elves)
Elves...

• Slightly less creepy than clowns.
  
• Get them, before they GET YOU.
  
• Inventors of the triangle Q-Tip.
  
• Using pointy shoes to kill baby seals since 1408.

12.26.07

December 26th
In Canada they call it "Boxing Day."
In the U.S. they call it "No Really, I'm 'Working' From Home Day."

12.24.07

How it all went down. Really….

“It’s like, one day I was just chillin’ in the House of David, and the next thing you know I’m the winner of 'Who Wants to be America’s Next Top Virgin Mother of Christ?' Dude, Joe is never going to believe this!“

Merry Christmas Y’all.

12.21.07

I still done wonders how they get 'em so straight with out a lick of duct tape?

12.20.07

There’s never been a better time:

Silverfox: I’m going to make this a December to Remember!
FOP: Oh, it will be memorable alright.
SiFo: They Ladyfox will be speechless, just like in the commercials.
FOP: Dad! Just because it has a combustion engine doesn’t mean…
SiFo: Now where do you suppose we get one of them big red bows?

12.19.07

Visually OxyMoronic
Although well-intentioned, Leroy’s attempt at promoting energy conservation via the use of wind power had area environmentalists outraged.

12.18.07

Winter Hobo. A Haiku.

the hobo’s playground
smell of urine still lingers
a knapsack, empty

12.14.07

I'll have the bowl of chilled Ketchup please. What do you mean "am I serious"?

12.13.07

NEW! Westside street signs encourage area pedestrians to:

A. Walk on.
B. Rock on.
C. Feel the Love.
D. All of the above.

12.12.07

10 seasons later...
Minus the neon green bibs and rear-entry, white/pink Barbie boots, everything else is pretty much the same. Poop.

12.11.07

Hey guys, guess what time it is?
It's freaking
LAMP TIME!

Yeah sorry.

11.10.07

Ahhhhhh, the Company Christmas Party...
Lets hark back to that one time when I told the boss his son resembled a cheap transvestite and then proceeded to hide smoked oysters in the pockets of all the coats stashed in the bedroom.

11.07.07

Yeah, so when I am done here I’ll probably end up hanging over your mom’s door or mantel or something!

12.06.07

I’m gonna be honest, I spent a majority of the day trying to figure out what the phrase “give morning the burrito” means. The rest of the time I was doing this….

12.05.07

There are times when the view from my apartment reminds me that occasionally stepping on syringes and finding dead bodies in dumpsters isn't really soooo bad.

12.04.07

A disturbing, yet simple way, to ensure you will never be subject to your company's "Random Drug Test Policy"... Again.

12.03.07

Finally!
The Spice Girls Reunion Tour has begun!
Toot Toot!