10.31.09

You have sit on the hump.

I don't want to sit on the hump, it hurts my bony butt.

Tough.

Happy Halloweenie!

03.31.09

Dr. WTF!, MD

Doc: Have you ever considered genetic therapy?
FOP: You mean like Alcoholic Anonymous?
Doc: Heh, funny. It is really expensive.
FOP: I’ve got money up the wazoo… didn’t you just check that?
Doc: Right. The results may make you less insurable.
FOP: I’m not seeing the health benefits here…
Doc: They can pinpoint all your genetic mutations and tell what you’ll die of!!!
FOP: Kind of like going back to high school. Sounds Great! Sign me up!

11.15.07

Dear Mr. Almost Ex President Gore,

I BELIEVE you invented the internet! AND, I totally understood it when you said "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." I don't think your lisp makes you seem effeminate...I don't think it's technically even a lisp... really. Um, anyway, I was just wondering if you'd come up with a cure for that whole global warming thing. Let me know.

Sincerely,
Mr. What the HECK its the Middle of November!!!