09.16.13

Flower Confetti

09.13.13

"While all you all are getting fat, I'm arm wrestling bailiffs, doing curls with file cabinets and thunder squats behind my desk!"

Says the guy who ate a bag of chips and a $5 pizza while hovering over the sink.

Happy weekend.

09.12.13

09.11.13

Rolls... in the hay.

09.10.13

Keeping it between the yellow lines?

09.09.13

Wahthsps!
YOU GUYS!
WAHTHSPS!!!!

09.06.13

FOP: So are you getting mom anything for your anniversary?

SLVRFOX: I think I'm going to goose her.

FOP: Mmm kay... sorry I asked.

09.05.13

You say Tomato.
I say Acid Reflux

09.04.13

Pour Some Glitter On Me!
I want to thank everybody for coming out this Wednesday evening!
Get those nickels ready because up next we have a gooey center cloaked in a sparkly wrapper... Let's welcome Alice Swanson!
Now remember, you mustn’t touch! And don’t forget our $3 hot wings and $4 pitchers and of course our $5 krabcakes!
Everyone, put your hands together for Alice Swanson!

09.03.13

It has been brought to my attention that The Color Purple and Purple Rain were two different movies.

08.30.13

No NO NO! Don't touch it!
YOU REALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHERE IT'S BEEN!
Oh god, not by your mouth!
SERIOUSLY WHAT IS IT!

08.29.13

I have a corn
On my foot.
Seriously
It sucks.

08.27.13

You dirty hoe.

08.26.13

Magical...
According to The Ladyfox they "make me sing better than that hussy Miley Cyprus"

08.23.13

Wooooool... What do ewe want?

08.22.13

Well, bust my buttons!
But don't...because it took a long time for me to organize them...so don't, really.

08.21.13

Fundamentally FABULOUS!
It is a long standing tradition in my family to style childrens' hair as though there were going to star in an episode of Sisterwives.

08.20.13

The Ladyfox makes a friend.

FOP: Hey mom who's your new pal?

LDYFX: This is FRECKLES! I love him! We go on walks! We're best friends.

FOP: Cool!

LDYFX: Are you staying for dinner?

FOP: Maybe, what are you having?

LDYFX: Steak.

FOP:...

08.19.13

My Burrito Runneth Over

Chancho, when you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. It's for fun.

08.16.13

Glutinous Maximus.

08.15.13

How do you know if your tractor is into ghetto rap?
It wears a big ass chain.


ba dum ching.

08.14.13

Light up my lantern Yo!

08.13.13

Rockin' out to some horns.

08.12.13

OOOOOOOOOhhGuuurl! Where you get your hair did?!?!

08.09.13

Hiking is Crap!
You climb up the side of a mountain, only to find another mountain.

08.08.13

Papa Smurf, mow your lawn.

08.07.13

Welcome to the Jungle-Gym!
Darling, it appears you stepped in a pile of cheetah... AND zebra.

08.06.13

When my career as a hand model is over i'll probably be a storm chaser.

08.05.13

Spiritus!
And lo it came to pass, the flies were plenty and they feasted upon my body and I was much perplexed.

08.02.13

Batten down the hatches, the weekend is moving in!

08.01.13

Prickly.

07.31.13

Dude, not to be rude, but your corn smells like nursing home and litter box.

07.30.13

Oh, hey there... It's hard to believe you didn't hear me coming.

05.29.13

DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF!

This weekend, the Silverfox taught me how to properly lock up my stuff.

07.26.13

Please make sure your insects are in their full upright position.
Happy Weekend!

07.25.13

FOP Eavesdropping

Random dad's excuse for why the family pet (Mr. SnuffleBottoms) can' t "come out to play"...to a 3 year old.
" Uhhh, Sometimes cats get shot."

09.23.13

To whomever managed to smuggle BOLT CUTTERS into the locker room at my gym and proceed to dig thru my dirty unmentionables to steal my wallet...
I just wanted you to meet my family.


BOLT CUTTERS GUYS!!!!
Hood-life 4-eva!

07.19.13

Um, I believe this is what they call "the crack of dawn."

07.18.13

Flash.
Flood.

07.17.13

Nom! Nom! Nom! Nom!
Leaves n' sh*t, it's whats for dinner!

07.16.13

Dem Teefs.
Like do you even floss?

07.15.13

Partly cloudy w/afternoon sprinkles.

07.12.13

Photobombs Away!

I got a bogie at 12 o'clock!

07.11.13

What's your favorite 7/11 treat?
Mine is Mountain Dew.


Waaka waaka waaka!

07.10.13

If you listen closely you can hear an ornery middle-aged man yelling at the neighbor kids to, "STOP DOING SPARKLERS IN HIS DRIVEWAY!"
Let freedom ring!

07.09.13

TOOT! TOOT!
Attention shoppers, we have a "Last Nephite Special" on aisle 3.
Hurry! This great deal will only last until Lamanites find out!

07.08.13

I pelican't believe its Monday.

07.03.13

No, REALLY, I love what you've done to make your car PATRIOTIC. YEAH AMERICA!
But... I think we both know it needs a tad more eagle.

06.02.13

BUCK-LE UP, IT'S THE LAW!
Due to their repulsive odor, traditional deer markings will soon be replaced by a more modernized, less glandular version.
When reached for comment, the spokesdeer responded with a blank stare.

07.01.13

SKIN CANCER BE DAMNED!
Throwing caution to the wind, Nemo spent a majority of his afternoon basking in the summer sun.