08.20.12

Every time I see this, I expect to see a hobbit... and his hairy little feet.

08.16.12

Just passing thru.

08.15.12

Regarding Quinoa
1. It's not as awesome as you think.
2. It's pronounced like some sort of Kung Fu move... Kin•WAAAAAAAA!
3. If you spill it on carpet, it has a half-life comparable to that of uranium-238

08.14.12

Afternoon Delight!
I love colorful, winged insex...

You see what i did there. Wink-wink, nudge nudge.

08.13.12

What I get for working late.

08.10.12

I'm going to miss you all so much this weekend.
I'm pretty choked up about it.

08.09.12

The perfect place for a family photo...
You know, if you want a picture of your entire family in cardiac arrest.

08.08.12

I scream because its hot.

08.07.12

Hey Bruce!

A grasshopper walks into a bar.
The bar tender says to him, "Hey we have drink named after you."
The grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named Bruce?"

08.06.12

Things I learned (this weekend) from the Ladyfox:

1. Never pass up a chance to buy a Costco Rotisserie Chicken.
2. Rihanna's "Where Have You Been" is probably the best song ever sang.
3. It's okay to fart in a Marshalls discount store.
4. She has the legs of a Nepalese sherpa... they just keep going and going and going.

08.03.12

I hid the booze...

under ice and citrus wedges.

08.02.12

It's a flower...
A moist flower.

08.01.12

Lunar Power.

07.31.12

Nature's Math
I think you can tell the age of a tree by counting the rings... er something.

07.30.12

Long and lean.
Baked or stringy.
Who don’t love, a fresh picked bean-y?

07.27.12

Oh Thank Heaven!
This morning's view from my 7-11!

07.26.12

And suddenly...
I was being followed by a giant purple owl.

07.25.12

It will burn your retinas.

07.24.12

It's Pretty Refreshing When You're Pulling an Ox-Cart!

Sometimes I wonder what the Mormon pioneers filled their whiskey barrels with...
I'm thinking Coke or that punch with the decorative ring of pineapple sherbet floating in it.

07.23.12

FOP Safari!
Look who goes there! A silverfox in his natural habitat. Watch as he roams through the golden plains seeking sustenance and looking to smite down upon any critter who dares enter his domain.
Alas! You never know what lurks around the corner while on safari.

07.19.12

Active Ingredients
Each Vicodin capsule contains 8 snow cones, 1 bounce house (with slide) and 4 puppies .

07.18.12

An Eggstravagant Plant!
I'll give you a nickel if you can tell me what this lavender beauty will mature into.

07.17.12

I look at this and all I can think of is the man who at 2 chile verde enchiladas and a vat of curry in less than 24 hours.

Good luck to you this evening fine sir!

07.16.12

How did it get so shiny?

07.12.12

For the safety of my nuts, please step away from the rocks.

07.10.12

HOW HOT IS IT?!
I made this for you.
On the file rack.
In my office.

07.09.12

Toot! Toot! It's Monday.

07.06.12

Red Air Weekend Plans
I'm going to watch Backdraft and remember fondly those 165 minutes when Billy Baldwin was relevant.

07.05.12

RECAP: A Redneck Fourth O Juuuuuuuuuly!

BBQ, fireworks and a little bit of moonshine.

07.04.12

236 Years!
Hell yeah America!
Let's Barbeque!

Be safe out there y'all!

07.03.12

How hot was it?

So hot I think it melted my spots.

06.29.12

Peace out.

06.28.12

I dunno. It looks a little, uh, hungry to me.

06.27.12

Quilted Wagon?

06.26.12

And then there was this...

06.25.12

The Sacred Grove

It was here, where a man carrying a large staff, draped in plaid flannel approacheth me and revealed there was still 2 miles to go and that my lungs would probably burst before I reached the top. I offered thanks and then laid down and wept.

06.22.12

Some dude.
Conquering nature,
with nothing but a tank top and backpack,
and tweeting about it.

06.21.12

Summer Vacation? HECK YES!

Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again?

I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines with a bow-staff.

06.20.12

Nature, you sexy beast!

And I quote, "Mommy look, this pine cone has a french manicure!"

06.18.12

Holy rusted metal... Batman.

06.15.12

People have told me I spend too much time with this guy.
But who else is going to teach me the fine art of drinking wine from a Solo cup?


Cheers to you old man!

06.14.12

Where the hell are we?
I believe this what they called "The GPS App" in 300 BC.

06.13.12

Because there's a special place in hell for me:

FOP: I'll take Biblical Miracles for $500 Alex.
ALEX: This miracle was thought to have taken place in a remote region of China?
FOP: What is "Rocks on Water"?

06.12.12

Whats that? You couldn't get tickets to Nickleback?

Lucky for you, I've prepared a list of things to do that are more entertaining (and show that you have more talent) than Nickleback.

1. Shave your leg pits.
2. Pick the lint off a fleece blanket.
3. Make ice.
4. Stare at this FOP.

06.11.12

My little buttercup has the sweetest.....RED ANT! RED ANT! RED ANT!

06.08.12

A hit off the old water pipe.

06.07.12

For purple mountain
Uh, majesties
Above the fruited plain!

Patriotic Cobbettes now at KFC!

06.06.12

Welcome to FOP, please sit down and "let us" entertain you!

06.04.12

SPELL CHECK? We don't need no stinkin' SPELL CHECK!
or
cHool wHip... if your awesome.

06.01.12

To enhance my collection of feral cats and empty CoolWhip containers I've decided to invest in a washer... or two.

I think they really tie the room together.Don't you?