11.08.06

4 out of 5 dentists agree that eating these make your woofies smell like roses.

11.07.06

I promise not only to keep America free of back hair and stale Mike ‘N’ Ikes, but also to put diet beverage in ALL the drinking fountains.
DEMOCRACY, HELL YEAH!

11.06.06

Hey Guys! Wait up!
I won’t fart at the head of the peloton ever again. I SWEAR!!!

11.04.06

Working girl.
But not in a Julia Roberts/Pretty Woman kind of way.
More like a Uma Thurman/Kill Bill sort of way.

11.03.06

I may not have much, but at least I have these logs.
And this wheelbarrow.

11.02.06

E: SAY IT!!!

Me: [Sigh…] You put Captain Merrill Stubing to shame…

E: AND JACK SPARROW!!!

Me: …and Jack Sparrow.

11.01.06

"Ethel Smith" mrclegr0w@viHagra4squash.com… Re: Is your squash inadequate?

10.31.06

Send in the flying Monkies...NOW!

10.30.06

What’s the point…
If I told you this was a mosh-pit full of middle-aged women dressed up as witches, you probably wouldn’t believe me anyway.

10.27.06

Have a rootin' tootin' weekend...
Uh, Y'all come back now, ya hear!

10.26.06

Voltar!!! STOP! The earthlings are not ready for the stimulation that accompanies a cross-lit rose!!!!

10.25.06

Poooooooooooooooooop.

10.24.06

I always wondered what happened to “Blanche” after The Golden Girls was cancelled.

10.23.06

NOT BY THE HAIR OF YOUR CHINNY-CHIN-CHIN?!?!
DAMMIT Little Pig! You saw how that whole “house made of straw and twigs” thing went over. What makes you think this is going to work?
ARE YOU HIGH?!?!?!

10.20.06

Clark, I don’t think it makes much sense to take ‘em down now.

10.19.06

BEHOLD!
I present to you the Enchanted Chalice of Diet Beverage™!!!
Guaranteed to make your food look RETARDED!!!

10.18.06

I would love to watch complete fourth season of Major Dad with you, [sigh] if only I didn’t have put all these peppers in this box.

10.17.06

Totally bummed about not being picked for the 2007 “Hang in There” poster.
Totally psyched for the "Siegfried & Roy: Masters of the Impossible" Marathon on TBS.

10.16.06

When I am involved in heated debate regarding the origins of driftwood, I take the stand that “driftwood” is a byproduct of wood drifting in the water NOT wood drifting up the side of a mountain, because honestly that’s just plain ridiculous.

10.13.06

Let me be the first to congratulate Macy Gray and Powder on their new addition.
I just love it when a plan comes together!

10.12.06

I was told I’d get a Famous Raspberry Shake, but all I got was car sick (and this lousy picture).

10.11.06

Soooooooo, there’s no shell, no yolk, no snotty white stuff, plus it doesn’t taste like Chicken?
What a crock.

10.10.06

Even though it sounds like a totally good AWESOME idea, you probably shouldn’t drive a convertible down a country road balancing a skunk on your head.

10.09.06

If ever your cousin tells you that the reason leaves fall in autumn is so that bears have toilet paper during the winter… don’t write a report about it and read it to your 2nd grade class, trust me.

10.06.06

THIGH-HIGH BOOTS!
They’re not just for Pretty Women and hooking anymore!

10.05.06

… And lo the Lord will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who engage in Chinese fire drills.

10.04.06

HEY EVERYBODY! Ansel Adams just texted me:
“u r not that gr8. jst coz a pics n blk n wyt duznt mean dat its gud. u r wastin yr tym… ahole.”

10.03.06

Helpful Hint:
This is where the janitors hide the weed after they rummage through your lockers.

10.02.06

A photo so lame it made a "244T Nylon Ripstop Reinforced Silicone Tent" weep.

09.29.06

Happy Friday Kids!
Now go shake it like you mean it!

That'll be $5.

09.28.06

It seems like just yesterday that I began posting crappy, low-quality pictures and sophomoric captions. However, it has been brought to my attention that a year ago this month, Four O’Clock Photo was invented. That’s over 280 shitty pictures! I’m not really sure how to go about celebrating, but I am thinking ponies, microwave burritos and maybe a visit from Bob Barker.

If you are sick of enduring said photographic mediocrity PLEASE let me know and I’ll have my people talk to your people and work to get you off the VIP list. Anyway, I’m not really sure where this daily photo thing is going. For lack of anything better to do, I’ll keep it up. Well, until Conan O’Brien (or Matt Damon) comes to his senses and makes himself my sugar-daddy, then the gig is up.

Thanks for tagging along… oh, by the way, you’ve got a massive chin-hair and some green stuff in your teeth.

09.27.06

or • gan • ic [awr-gan-ik]
1) Raised without the use of drugs, hormones, synthetic chemicals or pesticides. 2) Produce grown in healthier soil, containing higher levels of nutrients, and tasting better than their conventional counterparts: In a sentence: The Silverfox said it ain’t rotten, it’s organic.

09.26.06

NO! You Get Physical! Physical!
I'm just wearing these because I have cankles.
It's not my fault...
THEY ARE GENETIC!

09.25.06

How most people react when they first meet me.
Don’t worry, you'll get used to the smell.
Welcome Wee Baby Bevis. For a few more go here.

09.22.06

COMING SPRING 2007!
A Costco & 300lbs of Granola!!!

09.21.06

Like a… Like a DRAGON!!!!!!!!!

09.20.06

Good call on the trashcan, things around here were starting to look a bit grimy.

09.19.06

You know what would make for a good story… Something about a Canadian learning to talk like a pirate, and how people mock him when he says “Aye! Aye! Eh?” And also, he has severe diarrhea.

Thats all I got... sorry.

09.18.09

Not so SILVER, But oh so FOXy.
Keepin’ it dapper since September 18, 1948.
Toot! Toot!

09.15.06

Ladies, hold on to your panties.*
*And to the gentlemen who have panties, you might want to keep them in a firm grip.

Disclaimer: I will NOT take credit for this photo or any of the panty tossing hysteria that may ensue as a result of viewing it.

09.14.06

“Dude! That move was so frickin' SWWWEEEEET.
Man, if you weren’t a dirty 40 year old man, the chicks would be all over you right now.”

09.13.06

Burnt Weeds. It's what's for dinner!

09.12.06

Update: Your farts still don’t smell like this.

09.11.06

Fatty BoomBahs need not apply.
See how an area man spent $1.5 million on a bike and then actually rode it by clicking here.

09.08.06

I found your burro. He is over there. By those rocks.*

* Not dead. Just resting.

09.07.06

It is my belief that the difference between a good gift and a GREAT gift is personalization.

09.06.06

Speaking of world records:
The Silverfox and Ladyfox decided to take the matrimonial plunge. The REAL Elvis performed the ceremony, which is NUTS, seeing as how I didn’t know Las Vegas had even been invented 38 years ago.
Keep up the good work kids!

09.05.06

So remember that time I got to meet Justin Timberlake after he caught my panties at the N’Sync Concert?
K, well, this is 100 times cooler!

*This is Lee Redmond. She is a fantastic woman who holds the world record for the longest finger nails. Go here to check out the nail stats.

09.04.06

09.01.06

When you’re all Up In Da Club this weekend:

1. Buy her a drink.
2. Complement her shoes.
3. Pretend like you're listening.
4. And if there’s a lull in the conversation, throw down a little of this…