12.30.11

Thanks 2011.
I had a ball. Really, I did.

12.29.11

What I learned over the holidays.

It's not a good idea to ask a "cheese specialist" (Fromagetologist?), " Does this come in individually wrapped slices?"

12.28.11

Stamen & Pistil
Dude, even plant anatomy makes me giggle.

12.27.11

Winning
I didn't think it could be done, but these guys TOTALLY WON CHRISTMAS!

12.26.11

Post Christmas Tradition.
For the seventh year in a row , Marjorie Krinkle spent the day after Christmas drinking Everclear and anxiously awaiting the delivery of her 4 month supply of Zoloft.

12.23.11

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love told me a joke about drummers.

What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend?
Homeless.

Badum -Ching. Merry Christmas y'all.

12.22.11

On the eleventh day of Christmas... Okay pipers, I think that's enough piping.

12.21.11

On the tenth day of Christmas... Lords (of the Flies) a leapin'.

12.20.11

On the ninth day of Christmas... there was a lady, dancing. But not the kind of lady that mistakenly stabs herself with a shard of broken mirror in an attempt to attain dancing perfection.

12.19.11

On the eighth day of Christmas... There were maids making tea for a tea party and there was probably some milking going on. I suck at the 12 days of Christmas.

12.18.11

On the seventh day of Christmas...there weren't any swans, but if there were they'd probably be running through sprinklers.

12.17.11

On the sixth day of Christmas there were geese a strayin'... cuz geese gots to get paaaaaid too.

12.15.11

On the fifth day of Christmas... FIIIIIIIIIIIIVE HUNDERED GOOOOOOOOOOOLD RIIIIIIINGS!

12.15.11

On the fourth day of Christmas... 1984 called and said it wanted it's phone back.

12.14.11

On the third day of Christmas my True Love gave me... Bonjour!Je suis un poulet français.

12.13.11

On the second day of Christmas my True Love gave me two turtle rugs.

I wike turduls.

12.12.11

On the first day of Christmas my True Love gave me a pear... with rosacea.
Thanks hoss!

12.09.11

A broken Haiku.

Friday nights are for PIZZA,
and bathing your cats,
19 clean kitties 1 greazy box.

12.08.11

Hide-and-Go-Leaf?
Dude, nice try leaf. I can totally still see you.

12.07.11

LOOK WHAT I BUILT,
In my office.

Because its cold.

You see what I did there?

12.06.11

What is it?
It's the teat of a quince. They remind me of my grandpa... quinces, not teats... well for the most part anyhow.

12.05.11

Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You made it so the nosy neighbors couldn’t see.
Who knew you could fly higher than an eagle,
Thanks to the wind beneath your locking tongue & groove, titanium-reinforced, lattice-accented vinyl wings.

12.01.11

December 1st = Festive Pepper Day