08.31.06

This is my pedestal.
When you are finished watching me be better than everyone else, could you please be sure to put me back on it.
Thanks,
Management

08.30.06

Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk.
Hey look, it’s a lake. So are we done here?
Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk.

08.29.06

HELP!
I can't tell who is more excited about joining the Le Leche League?
Go here for more baby bellies!

08.28.06

Approximately 34 pieces of flair.

08.25.06

I have very important business to attend to this afternoon, I am leaving this guy in charge of the InterWeb. Please be on your best behavior.

08.24.06

Wanna sign my crack?

Ba Dum Ching!

08.23.06

This fleurs-de-lis strap hinge, reminiscent of late 15th century iron-work found on the All Saints Church, in Lockinge, Oxfordshire, was actually templated after Dave Navarro’s facial hair.

08.22.06

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Aye luv, don't let the children play with matches... Savvy?

08.21.06

Hurrah!! WE GOT CABLE!!!!
Just thought you should know.

08.18.06

Hey, wow, this couch is super-fun and super-cushiony. Do you like the upholstery? Yea, my mom picked it out special in 1989. Ummm, I would totally make out with you, but that man over there dancing with a blow up doll is totally freaking me out.

08.17.06

Two Letters
An open letter to men who insist upon shaving their legs:

Dear Gentlemen,
Stop it!
Regards,
FOCP

An open letter to men who wear combat boots and have never been (and never will be) in the military:

Dear Gentlemen,
Stop it!
Regards,
FOCP

08.16.06

Well, we do have a few vacancies.
I suppose it’d be okay if you waited out the storm, but I’d have to ask Mother of course… A boy’s best friend is his mother you know.

Ick.

08.15.06

I think if they looked more like peanut M&Ms and less like little furry butts, I would like them more.

08.14.06

Hello Peter, Jesus here.
Why don’t you listen to me?
How many times have I told you,
NO BLUE DARTS IN HEAVEN.

08.11.06

I love lamp.

08.10.06

I think this means Lil’ Kim is still pissed at me for putting peanut butter in her favorite pair of pasties.

08.09.06

DAMNIT Percival! You have to press the middle button to turn on the subwoofer!

08.08.06

Mahana! You ugly! Come down from that rope!
But dude, seriously, your head is going to start on fire.

08.07.06

In viewing this post you will have wasted 4.25 seconds of your life.
Well done, friends. Well done!

08.04.06

For all my Chebbi Ta’s:
Whad it ta. Kappa-chow done sine your pitty on the runny kine. Cuz sepatown is Sa-da-tay my damies!!!!

For everybody else:
Have a nice weekend.

08.03.06

‘Member that one time I summered in Tahiti, and took that cooking class taught by a cabana boy… yeah, that was pretty cool.

08.02.06

No, really, your dedication is truly impressive.
Okay, we’ll see you later. Great talking to you.
Watch for those exposed rocks.

...Sigh

08.01.06

It’s an itsy-bitsy, teenie-weenie, yellow, GoldenGirl ZUCCHINI.
ZUCCHINI! ZUCCHINI!